The major lessons learnt from looking for a relationship over the years before getting married at 37. Part 3
The previous posts in series are located here incase You have missed them.
Remove the agenda
Agenda well everyone has an agenda, its that some people want to push their own agenda right onto the other person straight away. Examples of an agenda
· Wanting to sleep with someone just for the sake of having sex. Had a few relationships where such was the case, they often don’t end well when You aren’t what the other person wants You to be.
· You want to get healthy, yet the other person is seeking to make an income from you. That is all they really want.
· Your seeking friendship and the other person say’s give me people to join my team. When you offer the friendship.
Its as simple as some people just want to sleep with others or want to get laid others they want a family. What did notice was that when I had no interest in a woman other than being a friend it would work like a dream, otherwise it would be a mess. When was happy in the relationship or simular then a lot of other relationships worked well, I have built some wonderful friendships owing to having no real interest in the person other than knowing that person as a person.
One weekend went away with a group of friends there was a woman who was taken and she was happy to just sit back and relax and talk, even her partner was the same. We could sit back and relax and talk and was feeling accepted as a person. Yet when that person had an agenda and was pushing such You can often feel such.
These days its about loving own wife and enjoying spending time with her. Living that life, its also about stopping needing getting own needs and desires constantly fore filled over that of others. Do You ring someone only wanting something or it more about ok how can I assist You.
In the past I personally saw sex as being loved and that was own belief system for many years until learnt that the love was seeking was within own self. That was also how came across that was desperately seeking love, yet it was inside myself. These days being married it is time to share that love which have within self, to share that love that learnt as a child from own grandmother. When you have an agenda it’s because you’re wanting something from the other party rather than being concerned about what that other persons needs were as a person.
Someone may say I am looking for love and offer themselve’s yet it turns out to only be about the hookup and getting laid to the other person. To them they may of yet to discover that the love they seek is within them selves.
You Can Do This Also and You Can Create A Brand New You,
Learn to create that life of Your Dreams
Wishing you the best in health and love and big hugs
Jenny and Ben
Mentors with a servants heart
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