Month: May 2013

Wow a powerful article from Connie Podesta about difficult people and that they have been trained how to act and expect that they can act such still.
The behaviour worked in their youth so they expect it will work again. However they often have unreasonable demands and expect that it can be all about
them and not a win win situation. That you will compromise for them no matter what.

As Connie states a difficult person wants to do things in their own way in their own time. That is also about what we allow to happen and how we allow others
to treat us that is what works. Difficult people need our cooperation and permission to continue with their patterns. When we don’t give it to them then they
lose their power.

Life Would Be Easy…
If It Weren’t for Difficult People
by Connie Podesta

The Good News... and the Bad News
Difficult people have been trained and taught to act the way they do since they were children. In fact, they have been rewarded for their negative behavior throughout their entire lives. Difficult behavior worked for them as children—and, more important, it continues to work for them as adults. We have three choices each time we respond to another person: 1. Be positive; 2. Be negative; and 3. Avoid or ignore them. Difficult people see avoidance as a positive response. When we ignore unacceptable, inappropriate behavior, it will usually happen again because our avoidance tells the difficult person that we are willing to accept their behavior.

What do they really want?
Difficult people want to do their own thing, in their own time, in their own way, without interference. In addition, they expect everyone around them to cooperate—even work extra hard—to ensure that this happens. And they do not see anything unreasonable about these expectations. There is little in their experience to signal them that their actions are inappropriate. They also have little (if any) desire or motivation to change their habits.

What can I do about it?
We learn a lot from difficult people. We tolerate their behavior and attitudes as “part of life.” We hold back our feelings and swallow our words. We make concessions even when we do not receive anything in return. We compromise even when it is 90/10 instead of 50/50. We may even question our own ability to relate and communicate with others, reasoning that “Maybe it’s me.”

Since we cannot change difficult people, we can only change ourselves and our reactions to their behavior. They need our cooperation and our permission to intimidate, control and repeatedly manipulate us to get their way. In most relationships, we are treated exactly the way we allow ourselves to be treated.

From Jim Rohn’s newsletter

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The following is from Jim Rohn’s newsletter on the power of choice. We can choose to change or to stay the same, we have the choice to eat healthy or to not eat healthy.
We have the choice to do the rite thing by our friends, colleauges and family or the choice to do the wrong thing. Everything begins with a choice and its our own choice
to change or not to change.

Change Begins with Choice
by Jim Rohn

Any day we wish, we can discipline ourselves to change it all. Any day we wish, we can open the book that will open our mind to new knowledge. Any day we wish, we can start a new activity. Any day we wish, we can start the process of life change. We can do it immediately, or next week, or next month, or next year.

We can also do nothing. We can pretend rather than perform. And if the idea of having to change ourselves makes us uncomfortable, we can remain as we are. We can choose rest over labor, entertainment over education, delusion over truth, and doubt over confidence. The choices are ours to make. But while we curse the effect, we continue to nourish the cause. As Shakespeare uniquely observed, “The fault is not in the stars, but in ourselves.” We created our circumstances by our past choices. We have both the ability and the responsibility to make better choices beginning today. Those who are in search of the good life do not need more answers or more time to think things over to reach better conclusions. They need the truth. They need the whole truth. And they need nothing but the truth.

We cannot allow our errors in judgment, repeated every day, to lead us down the wrong path. We must keep coming back to those basics that make the biggest difference in how our life works out. And then we must make the very choices that will bring life, happiness and joy into our daily lives.

And if I may be so bold to offer my last piece of advice for someone seeking and needing to make changes in their life: If you don’t like how things are, change it! You’re not a tree. You have the ability to totally transform every area in your life. And it all begins with your very own power of choice.

From Jim Rohn’s newsletter on the power of change and that begins with a choice.

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A wonderful article from Jim Rohn on problem solving, you need to sit down and solve all the problem before you can do anything else about such.
As Jim States in the article getting to the moon is two problems on its own, the first is the way to get there and the 2nd the way to return. Sometimes
a problem may have more than one part.

Vitamins for the Mind by Jim Rohn

Problem Solving

To solve any problem, there are three questions to ask yourself: First, what could I do? Second, what could I read? And third, whom could I ask?

The real problem is usually two or three questions deep. If you want to go after someone’s problem, be aware that most people aren't going to reveal what the real problem is after the first question.

Neil Armstrong once said, “You only have to solve two problems when going to the moon: first, how to get there; and second, how to get back. The key is don't leave until you have solved both problems.”

Never attack a problem without also presenting a solution.

The best place to solve a problem is on paper.

“Vitamins for the Mind” is a weekly sampling of original quotes on a specific topic taken from The Treasury of Quotes by Jim Rohn. The burgundy hardbound book with gold-foil lettering is a collection of more than 365 quotes on 60 topics gathered from Jim’s personal journals, seminars and books and spanning more than 40 years.
Click here to order “The Treasury of Quotes.”

From Jim Rohn’s newsletter on problem solving

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A wonderful post on the power of being happy to fail and prepared to faily until you get it rite. Courtesy of inspire your day Friday edition.
Are you prepared to take the risks and to keep on working through the failures until you succeed? Are you prepared to learn those lessons
needed in order to become a success?

Failing Forward

The best way to teach our children to succeed is to teach them to fail.

After all, if getting everything you want on the first try is success, and everything else is failure, we all fail much more often than we succeed.

People who learn how to grow from unsuccessful efforts succeed more often and at higher levels because they become wiser and tougher.

Two great American inventors, Thomas Edison and Charles Kettering mastered the art of building success on a foundation of what others might call failure.

Edison liked to say he “failed his way to success,” noting that every time he tried something that didn’t work he moved closer to what did. “Now I know one more thing that doesn’t work.”, he would say.

The lesser known Kettering (head of research for General Motors from 1920-1947) talked about “failing forward,” calling every wrong attempt a “practice shot.”

The strength of both men was that their creativity and confidence was undiminished by setbacks and unsuccessful efforts. They accepted that trial and error is an essential strategy for breakthrough innovation and simply rejected the notion of failure.  Thomas Watson, the founder of IBM, cautioned his leaders from being so careful that they never failed. He went so far as to say, ‎”The way to succeed is to double your failure rate.”

Of course, failure is never desirable, but it is inevitable and, with a proper attitude, can be quite useful.

The only way to avoid failure is to avoid the risks and challenges and that probably is a case of real failure. The great hockey player Wayne Gretzky used to say, “You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.”

Whatever your goal, whether it’s to get something, do something, or improve yourself as a person or professional, the secret of success is learning to transform unsuccessful experiences from stumbling blocks to stepping stones.

Three qualities can turn adversity into advantage: a positive perspective, reflection, and perseverance.

First, learn from the inventors. Don’t allow yourself to think of any failure as final, and never allow unsuccessful efforts to discourage you or cause you to give up. Remember, failure is an event, not a person. Even failing repeatedly can’t defeat you unless you start thinking of yourself as a failure. The way you think about your experiences shapes the experience in ways that either stimulate or stymie further efforts.

Second, don’t waste the experience. Unsuccessful efforts are wasted and debilitating only if you don’t learn from them. Reflect on your actions, attitudes and the results to discover the lesson within the experience and use that knowledge to guide future efforts.

Third, persevere. Try and try again. Just be smarter each time.

And finally, learn to enjoy the process. Simply being absorbed in the pursuit of any change that will improve your life or the lives of others is a blessing.

Remember, character counts.

Michael Josephson
www.whatwillmatter.com

Click here for our printable version

From

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