Chapter 8 Decision
Its been a very powerful couple of weeks lately for me with so many things starting to make sense and to make sense finally for me as a person, there were a number of reasons I was failing was that I was allowing others to make decisions for me, I was not fully into the decision, had failed to plan properly, even a fear of being hurt by love again. It was hard for me as planning is something I do not fully enjoy as a person.
Sure I’d make a decision yet the hard part was that after a while I’d get distracted by something else and lose focus on such. Lol typical has been going on for years. After years of locking off my love I decided it was time to spend this year dating, it lead to a 6 month relationship which fell apart owing to lack of belief.
Just recently I found a new person am dating and to me that was the best decision I ever made asking her do you want to meet. For me unlocking my heart and letting love in again has only been possible through saying myself talk and doing such regularly. For years I hated myself and was hurting, yet the problem was the hurt from such was also my greatest strength my love for others. I decided its time to stop the pain and build good relationships.
Around the same time I met the person I am dating a fun, loving woman, with a heart of gold. It was a journey for me to learn to love myself, when I asked the person I was dating would you believe women once scared me her reply was no. They did for quite some time as I was scared of love, yet I decided to let the love in. Also some of the things am doing right now are way beyond what once used to do as a person.
This time after getting to know this lovely woman I started planning what I wanted to do when seeing her, which didn’t happen last time. Making sure it was possible to do things wanted. Napoleon talks about procrastination as not being commited to a decision in this chapter which was certainly true for me. I just couldn’t focus on the choices I’d made, I’d lose intrest and move on another project started and finished.
Now I have started planning what I want, choices, decisoions and the life I am seeking as a person. Its taken a while, as I said recently what I want is a family of my own, health, travel and to have doing that. Yes to provide for my parents at the same time is part of it also. I have spent years on the sidelines being unable to do anything owing to health or otherwise, now its time to live, love and have some fun!!!
Thank you to Michael, Willena, Ken, David and Brian for your wonderful mentoring guidance and leadership. Thank you to the mental cleanse participents for your inspirational lessons.
Ben Drake
Mona Vale Sydney NSW Australia
Personal lesson plan for chapter 8 for the 30 day mental cleanse.
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