Chapter 8 Decision
This is a powerful chapter for me personally I have had to make a number of decisions lately and that’s hard as people often get frustrated at how I make a decision. It’s a process for me as a person as am needing to step back from making a decision when in an emotional state. When I am in an exceptional emotional state I make bad decisions, bad choices, even read a message the wrong way, however when in a good state I can make more rational choices.
For many years emotions have ruled my life and I have to master them. There are people who I know that can teach me such, one is a blue. A wonderful loving woman who can be herself around me, as I can be myself the hard part is when I am in an emotional state at all as then I find it hard to communicate on any level. So that has to stop, I have to gain control of my emotions and stop letting them run my own life.
As I care about people so much and love them so much it tends to hurts me when something goes ary, I even tend to get emotionally involved in a movie which can identify with. Its great who am as a person, I just have to learn to detach from my emotions that they are less rampant that they have less control over me as a person.
Recently I have made a number of choices and decisions in regards to a lot of things. Such as working on taking things less personal, being less concerned about others opinions of myself, for now it means learning to emotionally detach. That is something that will be a process and needs work, for ages I have been emotionally involved in the outcomes of many things and even attached to many things. Yet I have also decided its time to have a go at the relationship am currently in, for a while sat there getting to know the person could this work was this right.
I came to decision recently that it was time to persue this relationship, to follow my dream of a relationship and eventually my own family. Yet that means being my nurturing self who just is less emotionally involved. Something have needed for too many years now and yet was unable to see how emotionally involved I was. Its time to do such, I am going to hold myself accountable to doing the best I can. Should I fall down I will be ok as can get back out there and just go back to such its safe and I shall achieve my goal. It’s taken years to feel that can do such and be ready for this relationship and having kept one going as have its time to show my best female friend how much she means to me.
Thank you to Michael, Willena and Ken for you love guidance and acceptance as a person allowing me to grow as a person and getting to the stage where am safe enough to be myself. A big thank you to the wonderful mental cleanse participants who have inspired me.
Ben Drake
Mona Vale Sydney NSW Australia

Personal lesson plan for 30 day mental cleanse on chapter 8.
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