November, 2010 • Coach Freedom and Friends

Well for me personally I grew up as the eldest of 3 kids in a generational family. At times there 4 generations of the family living together; when I was born there was my great grandparents, grandparents, parents and myself living together. I do not remember such, and then years later it was my grandparents, parents a cousin and her son as well as my siblings and I.

Now I struggled with one emotion as it was not expressed in my biological family it was only at the recent passing of my grandmother that I realised hey that's where this came from. My parents are unable to say they love you; you often get it through stuff. They buy you everything and anything all the latest things, to me I needed love not stuff. You ask where something is and if it cannot be found quickly, a new one is brought.

I finally realised, I had been searching for love and nurturing since I was a teenager as I had hardly any growing up. I needed someone who was willing to be there for me yet I did not get such years later. It took years for me to realise why I had struggled for years or what need I was expressing that I was not able to put into words and people were no hearing what I was saying. That was part of the issue.

I received a lot of bullying in high school and in my early work career, in my early 20's when I was working for a major cooperation some of my colleagues who only made my self-esteem worse. I have worked for many years getting myself better and now have to understand that my family is incapable of providing the love I need them to. They are not a failure they are just unable to do such, they have their own issues and they refuse to deal with those issues.

I have found some of the best friends I could ask for during these last few months, these days my life; is a lot better than what it ever was and I am so glad. I do what I love on a regular basis and I am working on creating the life I want with a wonderful bunch of great friends who mean the world to me as a person. For me I am living a life I love, although there are many things I want to still do with my life I want to experience it with someone who means a lot to me; and well I am ready to walk that road. There are a lot of things I look forwards to, I am glad for those friends I have made some of them have become the best friends I could ever ask for. If I had not started this journey of relationships I would not of found these most amazing wonderful friends each who has an important part to play in my own life.

There are many people who I could thank publically yet each of them know who they are, they have often been there guiding or helping me in some way during these last few months. Thank you all for being the wonderful people you are.

For now, I know that I am on course and things are great.

If you want to learn more about relationships http://bdrake.successin10steps.com/?mad=52669 some of the information is available from this eBook.

Be a mentor with a servants heart Ben Drake

Finding myself

05/11/2010

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| Mentor Ben Drake

| 11:59 am

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As I am on this path I have come to realise why with a number of things. I have come to understand a number of things and for me it's time to experience life. Sometimes someone has to find themselves in order to understand what they are to be in their life. That can be a really challenge finding oneself at times, it literally means removing all that rubbish programming from your own mind. For some people that takes work and time. This is owing to their environment they are exposed to. Some people have their lives torn apart and are in therapy for years owing to their up brining. Some people are brought up in fear, that they are literally treated so badly that they live in fear.

To this degree they are condition to behave, they are taught do not step out of line. Do not speak your own opinion they are discouraged at an early age from having their own opinion. They are conditioned and taught no this is how you will behave and what you will do. You will do what I say no matter what, for me I personally grew up in a home which was not easy. It still is not, the one thing I have noticed is that I can be in a good mood for most of the day and when someone else comes home with a foul mood it does not help as it sets the whole place to be on edge. So what that means is that my exposure to negative or bad mood is quite intense, that someone else has such powerful influence over me when they have had a bad day.

Now it's hard yet it's part of what I need to work on distancing myself from those bad influences. I was reading one of books yesterday and it started to make sense a lot of things. I have lived in fear for so long now it's not funny fear of so many things because it was how I was brought up. Fear of my own safety and more, I see it all the time here at home. I was trying my hardest to cope and also trying to say look I just cannot deal with this. Owing to the fact that I did not see that it was going on, I sat there denying the fact that such had been going on. I am unable to change the past; yet I can certainly change the future, I can make it better stronger and not live in the current environment I have that choice not to accept those peoples rubbish weather they like it or not.

Now the one thing I realised is that for years I have been screaming out to others love me, I want someone to nurture me. I managed to find those people recently, the people who I know are going to be great support. However the hardest part is that I need that love, support, nurturing, encouragement and more. I want it more than anything and that is something that's been missing in my life. Right now it's what is necessary, yet I have also made a decision and well I am pleased with that decision. It's time to implement that decision and work on it, for me I want to live my life and there is a number of things that would be lovely to know.

I know that my life is better now than it's been in years however I do need to work on many things. There are many experiences that would be just awesome to experience and I know that since I was young that I had always wanted to know love, romance and more. Why well that's part of my own individual personality it's who I am. Now the one thing I realised yesterday at a meeting for my volunteer role is just how respected I am by my colleagues who will do anything to help. They know I will do the same.

If you want to learn more about relationships http://bdrake.successin10steps.com/?mad=52669 some of the information is available from this eBook.

Be a mentor with a servants heart Ben Drake

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05/11/2010

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| Mentor Ben Drake

| 10:53 am

<![CDATA[Good morning all, I love my life. Ah time to do some of the great things.

Focus and your why

04/11/2010

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| Mentor Ben Drake

| 10:44 am

Focus. As I was saying in yesterdays post it's only when you are really determined to achieve that goal that you will receive the reward of achieving that goal. For me it's about being laser focused on what you want as a person. Saying ok no matter what this is what I am going achieve and being prepared to pay the price demanded by life to get that goal. Every person has one thing that they really want to achieve in life, one thing that they really want to experience one really big why.

For me I discovered my why a few weeks back. Now I have come to realise that I have focus on that more, it is a very personal big one for me. It means being what I was meant to be, I have discovered also why I have spent years at home with little or no work. It has not been because of health, it's been owing to the fact that I am a stay at home father, I know that in my life everything I need will ultimately come to me. If I walked out of home today with what clothing I had on and drove to a friend's place saying I have just left home I'd be accepted and helped to get my feet back on the ground. They would help me as much as they were able to no matter what.

I have lived a life with people, who focus on an emotion called lack, now this caused me to do the same. Right now I know where my focus has to be and I am personally glad about that. It's time to work on achieving that area of my life and no matter what I will do such.

If you want to learn more about relationships http://bdrake.successin10steps.com/?mad=52669 some of the information is available from this eBook.

Be a mentor with a servants heart Ben Drake

Focus

03/11/2010

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| Mentor Ben Drake

| 11:29 am

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One thing in life that a person needs to learn is focus, to focus on that goal they are going for no matter what. When you focus on something with all your effort then it is what you achieve. When you concentrate on that bad neglectful relationship then you continue in such, I was listening to a training this morning and realised hey this finally makes sense. I now understand how a few things happened in my life and what went on.

Essentially what this is saying when you focus on being abused you get abused. When you focus on success everything falls into place, the problem is that sometimes people change what they are focusing on so often that you do not achieve your goals or dreams. I know I have done it myself in the past changed my focus so often. These days I am focusing on one thing and that seems to be working, I am getting signals saying yes this is working. Ok you are doing the right things.

When you focus on a goal or a dream and making that your main focus and getting that dream achieved often you will achieve that goal. It means being persistent, determined and committed to achieving that goal. Back in march I was searching online for someone to create a connection with, I'd been searching for years yet seriously for the months prior had a couple of good people yet no connection. Then I found someone who became a good friend to me and I am glad.

I can remember looking through the paper 18 months ago now and saw an ad for people to do the role I currently do. When I went away recently I said to someone hey look I will get my turn and it will be a great job and an enjoyable time. That was true also. I ended up on a job which used my personal experience with the boat crew, now it's about saying ok I will take care of this and do this. However you have to do this for me and I did that.

Focus is about knowing no matter what you are going to get that goal and just working towards doing such. Leaving it to happen also in its own time also and knowing no matter what that goal or dream will happen. When you focus on finding that special someone it happens, when you focus on that family it happens. When you focus on loving someone it happens, when you focus on becoming that person's lover it happens, when you focus on being the partner, husband or wife of someone then it happens. However you personally have to be 100% in. No matter what or deals off, ok there will be sometimes things that say you need to sacrifice this or do this before such yet honestly they are quite often well worth such.

As I said before when your focus is on the past hurt then you end up being continually hurt as a person, when you focus on no longer being single or being with someone then it happens. However you need to be prepared to pay that price which is asked by the universe for this reward. There may be one big sacrifice which you need to make in order to achieve that goal and well it's something that only you can say yes or no to.

When you focus though you can often end up with more than one goal having been achieved.

If you want to learn more about relationships http://bdrake.successin10steps.com/?mad=52669 some of the information is available from this eBook.

Be a mentor with a servants heart Ben Drake

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Month: November 2010

My own story

Finding myself

Focus and your why

Focus