Blog • Coach Freedom and Friends

In order to be successful in life you have to program your mind to expect that success. What do I mean by this, a person must prepare themselves to be successful and to expect that success will come. The best way is to program your mind saying I can do this, I can achieve this goal and I am not going to listen to those negative people who give me all the reasons why that goal is not possible to be achieved. I have heard a few of them in my time, well meaning friends, colleagues, associates etc. will turn around and say well that’s too hard, you are not good enough, it costs too much. That is all the result of their programming. This has happened at some point during the person’s life.

Now the best way is to ask yourself how can I achieve this goal, what can I do to turn this goal into reality. You also need to know what is motivating you to achieve such. Once you know why and what you want to achieve, then the best thing is to go after that goal. You see it all the time some people will be wanting to sleep with someone only for that notch on their belt, yet the people who are out there and not prepared to give such up without love well they are people who have their goals set and know what they want. These people stick by their goal of not sleeping with someone until they are in love or married.

Now to achieve that goal a person needs to literally expect that the goal is going to happen and that they are going to be successful. Any doubt in a person’s mind does not help, so what you need to do is make it so that you do what is known as your self-talk to yourself. Take what you want to be in your life and write it out as if you already had such. What do I mean of your goals could be a relationship so you say yourself “I am in a relationship” at least 100 times a day. I know I say my own self-talk to myself a lot more than that, I listen to it at night when I am asleep and when doing things throughout the day. Doing your self-talk and programming your mind helps keep those bad thoughts out of your mind, the more you listen or do your own self-talk the more you are pulling that goal towards yourself. As the more you believe the goal and hear it the stronger it becomes programmed on your mind.

When it’s programmed into your subconscious mind you are drawing the goal to you. This is something that I’ve seen happen in my own life of recent weeks, drawing that goal towards me. It’s not just about programming for a relationship you can do this with anything at all. My personal self-talk goes for 20 seconds and plays all night at least which is over 1400 times at night, it plays in my car and when I am busy with tasks. The more I listen to my self-talk, the more it will draw the events to me. When you program your mind expecting success you draw it to you, sure it may take time work and patience; however when you work at it the prize is yours. It just needs work time and patience.

Want to know more? Just ask. You can call or email me.

Want to learn more about relationships http://bdrake.successin10steps.com/?mad=52669 information is available from this eBook.

Be mentored for free Ben Drake

Letting go of those who you love

31/01/2011

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| Mentor Ben Drake

| 11:39 am

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In life the hardest thing can be letting go of someone who meant a lot to you. Sometimes it’s just that not easy at all, the people who come into our lives are there either for a short or long time however they are always there to teach us something. Weather it’s about ourselves or to help us improve who we are, there are people who love us for who we are and others who just can not accept who we are and are constantly trying to change us. They are telling us why we shouldn’t achieve a goal. Although you may love them it’s hard, letting go of them in the way of love is not a very easy process.

Yet sometimes it has to be done, what you need to do is say goodbye in your own way to them. Sometimes its easy when the person passes on or dies, other times it’s necessary to say they are never going to change. They will not ever be what I want them to be as a person, the hard part is that some people can come from a number of very bad emotions because they do not want to lose that person. Some people will use fear tactics, jealousy, revenge, greed and anger to justify why the person should not go. This can be for many reasons, however letting go of someone who you love is about saying they made their choice.

When a person dies it can be hard enough, yet each relationship needs grieving. Sometimes it’s not very easy at all to lose someone, yet everyone has their own process. You need to work out how you let go of those who you love.

Want to know more? Just ask. You can call or email me.

Want to learn more about relationships http://bdrake.successin10steps.com/?mad=52669 information is available from this eBook.

Be mentored for free Ben Drake

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Growing up without being shown love

28/01/2011

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| Mentor Ben Drake

| 11:21 am

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One of the hardest environments to grow up in an environment where there is abuse. Unfortunately it’s an environment where some people grow up, the environment where the parents do not love themselves; so they show the child no love, which hurts them later in life. It makes it hard to be able to create friendships and feel safe with others; it makes it hard to even love yourself. What you need to do is learn that it’s not your fault that your parents were unable to love themselves and therefore showed you no love. You grow up being told what to do, what to say, what to think. Hmm again this leads back to programming.

So what you need to do is learn to love yourself despite the environment and upbringing. When you are able to leave awesome, however the hardest part is when you are unable to leave through fear or lack of funds. Now when someone has placed fear inside you from a young age making you feel worthless or worse. Then it does not help; when someone is unloved the lock off a lot of things, it’s hard as they sublimate their feelings in a way. I know that’s what I did, programming does not help. You get to the stage where you are pleading for help however it does not help, so what you need to do is learn to let yourself be lovable and to feel loved as person. The best way is to start by saying “I like myself”, when you start saying such to yourself and say it without problems, then you are able to say “I love myself”.

It may take a bit of work to say hey I love myself. Yet when you can love yourself you start having a chance to rebuild your life again. Can you say to yourself 10 times without a problem I like myself or I love myself? That’s a big question. You have to say such to yourself constantly, no matter what and program such into your mind that you love yourself. Despite your influences you love yourself. Many people turn to different things owing to not loving themselves. That is the thing; many addictions are because the person may not love themselves. They are writing themselves off owing to not loving themselves as person.

Want to know more? Just ask. You can call or email me.

Want to learn more about relationships http://bdrake.successin10steps.com/?mad=52669 information is available from this eBook.

Be a mentor with a servants heart Ben Drake

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Finding the strength to cope during the rough periods.

27/01/2011

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| Mentor Ben Drake

| 9:43 am

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Finding the strength to cope or to move on during rough periods is hard. It’s not easy, one of the things that is needed during these periods is a friend who fully understands and is willing to be supportive and encouraging during this period. They accept and support you through that period either good or bad no matter what. Often when we hang around the wrong influences for too long we start to go downhill. I know that is the case with me, what you do is have someone who is willing to help and show you that they are there for you no matter what.

A true friend will stand by you through those rough periods. Even when you have to do what has to be done, the false friends are the ones who are unable to always be found when you need them. They are busy and do not commit. They do not reply quickly to you asking for help from them. During these periods it’s great to have more than one person to support you, however sometimes you may only find that one person who is willing to be there.

The people who understand the best are quite often those people who have been there before. They are the ones who can provide you with the strength to cope and show you the support which you personally need as a person. Yes sometimes you may feel like a fuck up and not be happy, however those times are when you need to say no I am going to do this until no matter what. The rough periods are tests to see how much you are willing to accept and take. How much you are willing to put up with, sure complaining doesn’t make situation any better. However when you can say what is going on or has happened then it really tends to be helpful.

The best thing is knowing what someone else is like and doing your best to not be frustrated by such. Yet when you are frustrated by something it’s either speaking up or saying no I am not going to take or accept this at all. When you say I am not going to accept or take this and people continually push your boundaries then it’s saying I do not care. At that point it is best to ask yourself what are you getting from that friendship. A rough period as Jim Rohn classes it are the winters of our lives, they are periods of change and assessment of what is working and not. They may be cold and barren with little results; however they are quite often a time for reflection.

A winter can be that period after the breakup of a family, a relationship, a friendship, a loss of a job, a death in the family. They are the hard times, as Jim puts it so well the winters can be either long or short. There is only a certain amount we each get, so what we need to do is take stock and develop coping mechanisms for ourselves with what has happened. Then we go out there and work on improving ourselves. So we need to find those people who are willing to help us through what we are going through and to find a solution to those problems. For some people it’s walking away from that relationship, others it’s working on so many things. You have to find the solution, quite often the solution to the problem will appear when you have developed into the person have to become.

That may just take time to become who you had to become and to develop into that person prior to finding the right solution for you.

Want to know more? Just ask. You can call or email me.

Want to learn more about relationships http://bdrake.successin10steps.com/?mad=52669 information is available from this eBook.

Be a mentor with a servants heart Ben Drake

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Living life for yourself and not for others

26/01/2011

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| Mentor Ben Drake

| 10:54 am

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What do I mean by such, well at times in our lives we live by what others tell us or program us to do. At other times we put others first we take care of them over our own wants needs and desires. People will put others needs wants or desires ahead of their own, therefore what we do is live our lives filling those needs and wants that others have. It’s hard when you have people are telling you no you cannot do that as this is going to happen. Often you need to switch off to those negative naysayer's who do not understand what is going on or why you want to do something. When you do not feel safe telling them what’s motivating you to do such. You then need to find a person who motivates you to achieve those goals no matter what.

Often people are driven to achieve the goals of others, they are told to go do this by someone who means well and may be trying to live out their own lives through yourself and they do not understand what they are doing. So what happens is the person who was convinced to do something ends up regretting the decision or not being happy with that choice. They end up hating the decision and feeling like they have done nothing or achieved nothing major in life. It’s not easy yet what is best is to honestly put yourself before others needs. That means saying no I am going to do what you want. It means living your own life now that may mean clothes, being closer to friends. A relationship, a family who knows only that person does.

When someone is saying you cannot do that it’s their programming coming up as a person. They were told no you cannot do that so they want to push such onto whoever they speak to, so therefore what you do is you find the people who are going to encourage you to achieve those goals and dreams and not say why do you want that. These people do not understand what they are doing. Its hard and yet it’s what has to happen, sometimes you need to realise who your most valuable influences are and what they are doing to you. Are you working to achieve your own goals or the goals of someone else.

Along the road you will find someone who’s goals and dreams will closely align with that of your own. I have seen this happen; you may have such a deep understanding with someone that it’s not funny. People live their lives programmed by others, when they start programming their own mind it can really help them a lot. When they start achieve their own goals and dreams it can also help so much. Sometimes it may be a matter of saying no this is my goal or dream and I am not going to let you take such away from me. When you give up its saying well I am not good enough to achieve that goal or dream, you say well I do not deserve such. I am not worthy; I do not deserve such at all.

Want to know more? Just ask. You can call or email me.

Want to learn more about relationships http://bdrake.successin10steps.com/?mad=52669 information is available from this eBook.

Be a mentor with a servants heart Ben Drake

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