Mentor Ben Drake • Coach Freedom and Friends

Relationships in any area of life you need to create relationships, there are relationships at work, at school, at home, at the sports club; they are in so many places. We have relationships all around us; some people expect a instant relationship. Yet relationships do take time to build, they need to be able to grow. Without creating a relationship with someone there is no foundation for anything further, it's like saying ok this is all we are going to do and proceeding from there. It is like the people who spend the night together and then go their separate ways, that is not a good relationship you are saying well ok thanks bye.

For me being in the relationships business it's about getting to know people who they are and what makes them a person. It's about not judging someone and learning ok this is who they are as a person, coming from a family where one person says I do not want any dependants anymore. That is why they have sat there for years and pushed people away, they do not anyone to depend on them or need them for any reason. This is a very bad attitude as it often says well I do not care about you, the hard part is what do you do when someone you love e.g. a member of your own family is such. Well the only thing possible to accept the person for who they are.

This person may or may not change however they have to want to change themselves no one can force them to change. In life we all build relationships, there are people who want to control others, who need to control others and their lives are often ruled by it's about me. There are people who serve others and give from the heart they will do anything for another person, yet these people need to learn to not take on another person's rubbish. It surprises me the amount of emails or messages I get saying hey I want a relationship with you and the person is looking for the instant relationship. They want you to be more then friends right away. That is not me it takes time to build such.

My journey

11/10/2010

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| Mentor Ben Drake

| 5:51 pm

I never realised how destructive some influences can be. Work colleagues can have the same destructive influence on people as with the rest of society. Everyone has a different upbringing and well you have to think about what that person has been through as a person; some people get their lives destroyed by these influences. It can be very hard for lots of people, the thing you have to learn to do is start believing in yourself and determining what you are meant to be and do in life.

This only happens when you switch off to the negative bad programming as a person, to do this you need to sometimes distance yourself from those influences totally and limit your association with those people only seeing them when it suits you. It can be very trying at times, for me personally I have to distance myself from the people I love most owing to who they are as people. They have some pretty destructive influences in their lives. You have to look at it like teaching someone how to do something yet if they listen to all their chatter that they are not good enough then they will not be successful.

That is what destroyed me listening to all that bad programming. It's why my weight got bad and my health got bad as I just did not care about myself, I could not love myself because of all the negative bad influences in my life. This did include family and many other sources, these days I have to work constantly on programming the good rather than the bad, these days my life is not as much as a mess as it was 3 years ago now. Far out has it been just shy of 3 years now since I began this journey of getting my health under control. Well all I can say is that it's been an amazing journey one that has had its ups and downs.

Recently I had a oh my gosh moment. Ages ago I brought some 82 sized jeans and they have not always fitted right, they have been too tight. Lately they fit like a gem; I can sit in them comfortably no problems. I went out and brought small undies on the weekend, for me seeing myself go from that triple extra large to a small within the last 3 years has been just such an amazing thing. Anyway for me I just love the fact that I am able to now fit into small pants, next I am up for working on fitting into a small shirt. I already have one singlet which is small and fits like a gem, the road ahead is going to be an awesome one.

I love this

10/10/2010

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| Mentor Ben Drake

| 7:04 pm

<![CDATA[I love this, my weight is under control and I have found some really great friends. They are the best.....

Influences

10/10/2010

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| Mentor Ben Drake

| 4:03 pm

Influences are very powerful things they come from many sources family, friends or other well meaning people. For me personally I have come to realise who my most destructive influences are now when I am around those people too long or too much I tend to start heading down hill if I do not take care of my own personal needs for me when I am starting to feel the pressure of others rubbish or programming happens to be by myself starting to feel tired and letting the old stinking thinking come back to play. What it means is that I have to learn to switch off and disassociate from those exceptionally powerful negative influences which tend to push me around.

How do I do this or work on doing such by surrounding myself with good positive emotions and switching off from the negative influences and people who tend to just pull you down. Everyone knows of those people who just tend to pull you down, they make you feel worse. Now for me I have a good run then suddenly slam I hit the wall as I am working on building up my strength up again. It is only because I have not been around the right influences that I tend to go downward or that I am not feeling loved and supported. Anyway all I can say is people need to get themselves around the right people and people who will support and encourage them.

Those people are at times the ones who are there for you through thick and thin. They say ok you are having a bad time let's work through this, let's talk this out. They listen and help as much as they can, they do not drag you down these are real friends. I realised recently who my real friends are and I am glad to have them, having found another gem of a friend who is a good person. A lot of people's negative influences come from programming either by the TV, news, stock reports or otherwise you end up receiving that programming. What lovely programming does leaving the TV on crime do to your mind whist you sleep or ABC talk back radio? Yet that's what I see happen. People destroy their own and others life's because of such programming.

Anyway this programming has to be removed before we can learn to make anything of ourselves. So what is best is turning off the TV, the radio etc and only reading and listening to positive things. Do this at night and you can really improve yourself, how try a 30-day mental cleanse which is available via http://www.30daycleanse.com and let me know how you go. Anyway have a great day and I will write some more soon.

Life’s Journey

08/10/2010

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| Mentor Ben Drake

| 8:38 pm

For me life has been a journey, I am unsure what the ultimate destination is however I have started to realise some of the visions which have shown up in my life over the last 6 months. Things are finally starting to make more sense for me and I am glad. Sure some of the things I have been through are not easy, things are placed there to teach us a lesson.

For example someone who pushes you around is quite possibly there to show you that you are hanging around with the wrong people. They an be someone who may not realise what they are doing however they have to have control. This person may not be easy to work with, OK so what this means is that my life until now did not suit the lifestyle which I was living. It's a long story and one that some people will hear. Yet essentially for me I know that a life I used to live is not the life that suits me. It's good to know whats going on.