Mentor Ben Drake • Coach Freedom and Friends

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People get taken off course from their dreams or goals by a variety of different things. The main way that a person can be taken away from what they want is from their influences e.g. family, friends or otherwise. A saying that really touches me is from Jim Rohn it says

When you find your mountain in life go for it. Some people will say no that mountain is to high, it’s too steep, you are not good enough to do that, you can not do that. Jim’s reply is I am going to the top, you are either going to see me waving my flag from the top of the mountain or dead on the side because I am not coming back.

What does this mean is that when you find the goal or dream you are aiming for which is your metaphorical mountain there will be people saying to you you are not prepared to climb that mountain, it’s too hard, too rough, too steep. Now they will be trying their hardest to say go for this one it’s easier and better, however for that person who has set the goal of such it is their goal and dream no one else’s. What you need to do is have in your mind what you want, write down the goals with why you want such, how it looks, feels and is, what you are prepared to give up in order to achieve that goal. As they say in life you do not get something for nothing.

Now once this is done you need to have a way of knowing you are on course for your goal, there are plenty of ways to make sure you are on course. For example a relationship goal the simple fact that the person is still around suggests that you have done nothing to offend them, it also says that the person values your friendship, they value you when you are communicating regularly. Each goal has a number of action steps that need to be taken before you can proceed to that next step, it can be hard or easy for some people they are a great challenge.

It depends on the goal as to what you need to learn, someone who has had few friendships or not had good quality friendships needs to learn about relationship skills to develop those better quality friends. They also need to develop confidence within themselves, a long term relationship goal may mean the person needs to learn to be able to connect with the person but also many other things, like how to make their partner feel loved and supported.

Every person comes with a different learning curve, I know mine was a hard one only because of the limited number of friendships I had. I needed to develop confidence and love for myself, yet also learn about myself to find those friends. Sometimes you can tell you are hitting the goal right on every single time with just a word or action, other times it’s not easy to tell you are on track however often there will be some form of indicator which shows you are on course heading for that goal. When you do know you are off course the best thing to do is figure out where you are on that road map or plan and reset your course.

That means working towards establishing the goal dream and working towards making sure you put your energy into doing such. When I concentrated on finding a best friend who could be more with time I found that. It’s about working towards your goal and doing the leg work to achieve it, sometimes you need to make a lot or a few changes.

If you want to learn more about relationships http://bdrake.successin10steps.com/?mad=52669 some of the information is available from this eBook.

Be a mentor with a servants heart Ben Drake

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Your Goals and Dreams

17/11/2010

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| Mentor Ben Drake

| 11:13 am

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Everyone has goals and dreams, there are a number of reasons why a person may not achieved their goals and dreams. They can normally be summed up into the following.

You physically stopped dreaming and believing in your own goals and dreams.
You have let outside influences either good or bad take you away from those goals or dreams.
You are unsure what you are aiming for or looking for.
You may not have the required skills needed to achieve that goal yet.
You are missing some piece of information or something that is vital.

These are just some of the reasons why people fail to achieve their goals, for me it was because I quit dreaming just stopped owing to influences in my life. A goal is something you have to have, that new home, that house, that new car, even that baby or child. However often you need to change and become more to achieve what goal you are aiming for, as I said sometimes you need to change in order to achieve that goal. It can be ok what needs to happen so I can achieve this goal.

For me personally I need to learn a few things, yet one thing I do need to do is lower my stress, work on developing my friendships and not living in the past. Ok that’s the hardest thing as sometimes it’s not easy, but it is what does need to happen.

Anyway ask yourself what is there that needs to change before I can achieve this goal, what needs to happen before such. Sometimes it could be a small change or a big change, for me I am working on all 3 of those areas above as well as not letting people walk over me.

Anyway have a great day, if you have any questions just contact or email me.

If you want to learn more about relationships http://bdrake.successin10steps.com/?mad=52669 some of the information is available from this eBook.

Be a mentor with a servants heart Ben Drake

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Leadership

16/11/2010

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| Mentor Ben Drake

| 11:10 am

Ok so what is a leader a leader is someone who is a reader, someone who is willing to learn and make the mistakes yet also take risks. They are not people who continually drive fear into another persons life, if a leader starts using fear with someone who is following them either a child, a colleague a co-worker an employee that person will start giving low quality work. If someone is told to do something by using because I said so, because I know so or otherwise; then the person who is told such does eventually start saying no way. I am not going to take this.

Remember parents are leaders themselves, some parents do not realise they are instilling fear in their children’s lives by not allowing them to express themselves. They treat people like they are rubbish so this influence rubs off on them. What that means is if you hang around the alcoholic or one of your parents is an alcoholic is it influences you as a person. Ok yes it ties back to yesterdays post on influences, a leader is someone who knows where he is heading in life.

They know what they want from life and where the end goal is. They are constantly learning, they are not someone who will not speak up, they are not someone who lets others walk over them. For me two of my greatest leadership challenges are I let people walk over me and I do not often speak up when something is not fair or I am not being treated fairly. A true leader is someone who will speak up, they will listen to what the other person says fully and you will have their full attention. They are not someone who will interrupt another person, they will allow that person to talk for as long as they need to. However they also recognise that sometimes people need to be told keep it brief or that they only have a specific time frame.

Leaders are people who listen, they make sure that person has finished speaking. Not as soon as the person takes a breath do they start speaking, I know people who are like that. They love the sound of their own voice. Then their are people who do not care what another person says they just have to use their mouth to make a person feel small and bad, they in still fear in people. These people are the hardest to be around and yet they do not realise they are making lives miserable for others. Their world is dark, gloomy and negative so they want others to be hurting themselves. They refuse to think about anyone else. Leaders often leave their own troubles at the door when they are asked for advice or help.

A leader is a reader always learning, they are not someone who has to be little others, they are people who are constantly learning and wanting to work on themselves. As they say it’s learning how to become a better person as a whole and knowing where your own personal limits are. I am slowly getting to learn mine.

If you want to learn more about relationships http://bdrake.successin10steps.com/?mad=52669 some of the information is available from this eBook.

Be a mentor with a servants heart Ben Drake

Influences who am I around, what are they doing to me?

15/11/2010

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| Mentor Ben Drake

| 6:31 pm

Who a person is around most of the time generally tends to be the person who has the most influence on a persons life. So if they are around people who drink constantly they drink constantly, if they are around drug users then they use drugs. Essentially what I am saying is no matter who a person hangs around they will rub off on that person. Now the best thing to do is to spend time with positive influences people whom will build you up and not tear you down.

Hang around those people who believe in you, encourage you and support you. Rather then those people who literally tear you down. The people who tear you down will at times force their own opinion on you. It is a hard thing yet sometimes the best thing you need to do is build up that wall of positivity and say nope I am not going to take this again. It’s finding those people who will build you up and encourage you as a person.

If you want to change your life then you need to be willing to make that change.

If you want to learn more about relationships http://bdrake.successin10steps.com/?mad=52669 some of the information is available from this eBook.

Be a mentor with a servants heart Ben Drake