mentorbendrake@gmail.com
+61421464549

Author: Mentor Ben Drake

Husband and father, mentor and coach, helping families to live better lives, model train expert living a healthy active fit lifestyle.
Coach Freedom and Friends

How to build a relationship with someone.

 21/01/2011 21/01/2011
    |   No Comments No Comments
    |   Mentor Ben Drake Mentor Ben Drake
    |   11:42 am 11:42 am

<![CDATA[

Everyone is different as to how they build relationships with people. Some people prefer to get to know another person online. Others are ok meeting in person, however you find it best to develop that relationship with others is ok. People say hey you should be out there meeting people through cafes or simular. Some people are uncomfortable meeting new people unless its in a group situation and they know someone already. Each person is different. Now the best way to build any relationship with another person is through the following.

  • Getting to know them as a person (with no motive at all)
  • Being yourself (not putting on a show or acting)
  • Being interested in them as a person.

Lets look at this in more detail.

This is all achieved by getting to know them as a person; this is about knowing who they are as a person. The best way is to start taking a interest in them as a person using the following areas of their life. Work, Family, Kids, Friendships.

  • What do they do for work or have they done in the past.
  • Are they married, single, seeing someone, do they have kids
  • Do they have many friends
  • What do they want to achieve in life
  • What motivates them as a person.

You can not have any other motive or that person will see right through such, when you take a genuine interest in someone it is obvious.

For example: When you are only interested in making more money then it shows. People can detect such, the same as when you are only interested in someone for a one night stand and they are not, the other person will see right through you. When you genuinely yourself then you have nothing to fear at all. People will stay with you when you have no motive what so ever as a person, they will respect you more for not having any motive. They will want to be around you as a person, I have met a lot of people who have motives other then my own, these people often leave a clue showing their intentions. People do not realise their true intentions are showing through however it’s what happens.

You have to be yourself at all times, now when you know the person you can be a little more comfortable and relaxed with them. However if you have a motive it does not help, a good friendship of mine started off as friends. Now I was just a friend to them, we’d communicate and they’d help. As I was genuine it’s been a wonderful thing, I have seen it become stronger. You do not get such when you have a motive as a person. A number of people who have come into my own life have left a clue as to their real intention, sometimes it may be a word or phrase. You see when you are yourself then all sorts of possibilities open up and it’s really great.

So what you need to do is know the person, not start pushing what you want from them. Be yourself, when you do the wrong thing by someone it will blow up in your face. However when you do the right thing it does not. Sure there are going to be times when it’s scary, however when you have nothing to worry about or have done nothing wrong then its not going to blow up in your own face. I know that no matter what I have always been genuine and to me I am proud of that.

Want to know more? Just ask. You can call or email me.

Want to learn more about relationships http://bdrake.successin10steps.com/?mad=52669 information is available from this eBook.

Be a mentor with a servants heart Ben Drake

]]>

Read More

For things to change you have to change Part 3

 20/01/2011 20/01/2011
    |   No Comments No Comments
    |   Mentor Ben Drake Mentor Ben Drake
    |   10:28 am 10:28 am

<![CDATA[

One of the things that you have to change is your attitude and friendships, your influences and who you are around. Those that come from the mentality of there is not enough money are often the ones who have to learn how to save and start working on their finances more. People learn their attitudes towards things at a young age when they are growing up. As I stated in yesterdays blog, often you need to change something to become successful. Other times it’s a number of things that have to change, also you have to act on blind faith and go with something knowing that it’s the right thing for you.

At times a person needs to change their environment, other times it’s the persons attitude that needs changing. It really depends on the person as to what they have to change. In order to become better you have to be willing to progress as a person. You have to change those things that need change in your life and have to be prepared to do what it takes as a person. You have to say ok this is what needs to happen and I am going to do such. So what is there in your life that needs to change. Quite often a person has to be ready for leadership, they have to have built those skills. Also need to say no problem to such. They need to develop. How many hours do you spend daily or regularly working on yourself and becoming more as a person?

Want to know more? Just ask. You can call or email me.

Want to learn more about relationships http://bdrake.successin10steps.com/?mad=52669 information is available from this eBook.

Be a mentor with a servants heart Ben Drake

]]>

Read More

For things to change you have to change. Part 2

 19/01/2011 19/01/2011
    |   No Comments No Comments
    |   Mentor Ben Drake Mentor Ben Drake
    |   2:06 pm 2:06 pm

In part one I wrote about the fact that people need to evolve or become better to improve a situation. At the same time we have to think ok what needs to change so that I can move onto the next level, at times it’s a decision. Other times you have to learn more skills, other times its a matter of creating a plan. More often then not it’s because you are not becoming that person who is worth such. Now there are going to be good and bad days where you are tempted to quit, however that is part of the changes. Its when you work through those challenges you become a stronger, wiser and better person.

Some people need to change who they are around to become more successful. Others need to learn those skills and completely create that new lifestyle a fresh beginning. Every person is different as to what they need to learn and at what point they will say no that is enough. They are then either desperate or dissatisfied, when someone has been dissatisfied enough they become desperate to change and will do whatever it takes to become that better person. Yes it may mean having to accept that you can not do what you always wanted, yet at the same time you need to acknowledge what limits you have.

In order to change a person has to want to do such. Also they need to say no to those bad influences, some people literally live all their lives programed by someone else. Someone has said to them at some stage “No you can not do that. It’s too hard” or something else and when they have been told enough then the person starts to believe such. We can either choose to program our own minds or let someone else program it for us. In order for us to reclaim our own lives; a person has to choose who are good and bad influences. Who can help them grow or who will drag them down, it will take work and time yet it’s what has to happen sometimes.

You have to learn who you can really trust with your deep dark secrets and who you can not. Work on finding those people who you can talk to and trust as person, who you are happy to talk with about anything necessary. Another good thing is that you need to know how you are built and accept that. Some people are built that they can go for hours and not sit still, others are not like that. Limits and disabilities are things you can work around. I know that from personal experience, you work around what is possible and say well I am pushing myself to far. Time to pull back and do such.

Ask yourself who is it I trust the most, who am I around the most, what are they doing to me, what have they taught me, what do they have me believing as a person, where did you learn your beliefs on money, where did you learn your beliefs on success or what successful is to you? Everyone is built up of habits from not only our own but others programing, we learn such during our developmental years, however when we do not have good role models then it does not help.

Want to know more? Just ask. You can call or email me.

Want to learn more about relationships http://bdrake.successin10steps.com/?mad=52669 information is available from this eBook.

Be a mentor with a servants heart Ben Drake

Read More

For things to change you have to change. Part 1

 18/01/2011 18/01/2011
    |   No Comments No Comments
    |   Mentor Ben Drake Mentor Ben Drake
    |   9:41 am 9:41 am

<![CDATA[

This is one of the best sayings I know from Jim Rohn. Why is it such a classic as it says that for a situation to change you have to change, the person has to change. They have to evolve and become a better person. The person needs to become worth that promotion, they need to become worth that next pin or worth what they are seeking. I find it fascinating that people literally say I am not getting anywhere in business, however when asked they are not doing those things that they need to do in order to become successful. They are not growing as a person, they are not becoming more. The industry that I am involved in just happens to be the industry of relationships. The way you become successful is by building those relationships in life, when someone does not have that relationship or does not feel comfortable around you then you may not get to the core of what is going on for that person.

What I mean is that when someone does not feel comfortable with someone else they may only provide superficial layers of what’s going on for them. The person does not feel comfortable expressing themselves with you. Think about it, could you really tell someone what’s on your mind when you do not feel safe with them. I know I can not, a person who feels safe with someone else will start to tell the other person some of their darkest secrets. That is where you get to know the person, building any relationship is about trust. When you do not know if you can trust someone then you will not talk about what’s going on for you.

Ok now for things to change you have to change what does this mean. Literally as I started with you have to become worth that next promotion, the people who are stuck and not getting anywhere at all in business, relationship, friendships are not succeeding owing to the fact that they have not changed enough to become worth what they are seeking. Yet when that person has become worth what they are seeking they quite often achieve such. What some people do not realise is that they are not being successful owing to not having changed to the degree that allows them success, what does this mean. It means saying look this is what I want, what do I have to change to become worth such.

For some people need to improve their relationship skills, others need to improve their sales skills, you need to know what your real why is at the same time. Why are you doing the business, what were you meant to do, to be to have, to give.

Want to know more? Just ask. You can call or email me.

Want to learn more about relationships http://bdrake.successin10steps.com/?mad=52669 information is available from this eBook.

Be a mentor with a servants heart Ben Drake

]]>

Read More
TOP string(0) ""