As I sit back and look over the last few months, it shows how much I have grown personally. I spent 3 years regaining my physical health, becoming better physically as a person. I had to become better physically to be able to achieve my goals; and I needed those 3 years to improve my health for my personal mission in life. I have started to meet some of the best people who mean a lot to me, some people who are in my life are there for a reason. Sometimes it is a short time, other time’s it can be for a lifetime. Yet I am developing my friendships with a number of people, a lot of them are great people.
Some of them have seen me grow and become a better person over the last 3 years silently watching and observing. They may not say much yet they have been watching. Everyone of them is in my life for a reason. Some people have come and gone; after they have taught me a lesson, others are still around. Some people are not always in touch, yet they are their when I need them mist. They always care about you as a person. There are those in my life who really care about me, others who do not care as much as they think they do, there is nothing you can do about those people who cannot understand who you are or really care about you.
There are those people who have at times demanded I change who I am, they have eventually left my life. They expect me to be their little project, to make themselves feel good. Yet often the ones that really care are those who sit silently on the sidelines and say very little until you communicate with them. They support and encourage you and know the right things to say, they are the best people.
The ones who see me as their project and cannot understand I do not always listen to or I just do not worry about anymore. I know people who were unable to accept where I came from and what has brought me to where I am now. They think oh he is not improving fast enough for me, he is not good enough; they expect instant results from something. I have had a few people like that in my life who want me to be able to do something perfectly quickly. These have high expectations of me and expect that something is going to happen in their time frame and not the time frame that I develop at; for me I know that it takes me time to get things, when I learn it it’s great.
I can only accept that it takes me time to learn new things. It takes me time to understand things and learn it. The people who are pushing me do not understand there may be a reason, that I not being able to improve at the pace they want me to. I have had a few of these people and they often fall out of my own life. They fall out of my life when they have performed their mission, yet the ones who accept me for me stay in my life no matter what. I have had friendships implode because someone did not do the right thing or has thought that they can expect me to change overnight. These people have not had the patience to understand I am who I am as a person.
I have learnt a lot about myself, how patient I am. It took a lot of patience to improve my health gradually, it took a lot of patience to change my diet and it took a lot of patience to work on those friendships. I know that for me having the patience and knowing that no matter what I will achieve my goals is great. I have had to work on myself a lot during the last 5 years, even a lot during the last 7 months. Having worked through a friendship where someone could not accept just who I was and they may never accept me.
I have come to accept that there are things I may never fully understand, there are things that I cannot do as a person. Anyway, for me personally seeing myself go from having very poor health to having the health I do now is just awesome. To see my weight going down and improving myself over all has been awesome. Even seeing the start of those great friendships has been just great, sure ok, the false friends still show up. They often filter themselves out over time; the ones, which have survived, are the good true friends. To see myself even starting to become free as a person, that I am able to start to change so many things in my life is just great.
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Ben Drake
