Being Controlled

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All our lives we are programmed by other people through media, family and friends. You may have someone ring up and try and force their opinion on you. Family can sometimes think that what they have to say is right and you can be made to feel that you have no right to express yourself or speak up. People may believe that they are able to tell you want to think, believe, how to behave, how to save money, how to spend your own money and even what to do as a person. When a person is told how to think from a young age they can start to believe that the other person’s opinion of them is the truth, they believe what they are told by others as they may not have been taught any different during their upbringing.

Everyone will develop habits owing to how they grew up as a child. Some people learn to fight for themselves, some people learn to defend themselves, others learn to save, others will learn to work hard and not care about the bills and how much they spend as a person. When someone is not allowed to express themselves and their needs, wants or desires and they are told no you don’t need that what do you need that for, why do you want that. Then they start to feel that their needs, wants and desires are worthless and not worth anything at all.

The person may have be yelled at or told no I don’t want you doing that they may have been ridiculed for their choices, as per what they have done. These are all forms of control as the other person is trying to force their opinion on you. When someone has low self-worth or self-esteem then they start to believe what they have been told as a person, when they are challenged for speaking up and told to either to shut up or may be treated like they are not worth anything, then that persons self-esteem crashes and the person can start to feel down or blue. They may become suicidal and depressed.

I have been in situations where someone feels that they can push another around as they are in a position of power and they have power over them. It doesn’t just happen at work, it can happen at home, in many places. The person feels they have the power and that they can do whatever they please; they can talk to someone how they please. They will make the person feel bad for saying no to them; they will get their way no matter what happens. There is a big difference between being controlled and standing up for themselves. A person who stands up for themselves is saying look I am not going to put up with this; I am not going to take this. However the person who is controlling generally tends to put the other person down; they make the person feel bad for what they have said and they act as if they do not care about the other person’s needs as a person.

The best thing to do when someone else is trying to control you or telling you what you should be doing, is try and sort things out. However when this repeatedly fails to produce results, then its best to walk away from that situation where things are not good at all. When someone treats another person like they are rubbish and refuses to let the other person have their say without getting upset or defensive then it’s not good, when you are unable to express something without the person always using an angry, annoyed tone then it does not help the situation. In the end the person who is being controlled quite often says I am unable to take this anymore and they walk away.

They either cut off the friendship completely or should that not be possible they say look I love you however I just don’t like you. They are saying look I love you I just do not appreciate what you are doing to me and how you are doing it. Sometimes this has to happen with family, you just need to say look no I am not going to put up with your rubbish anymore. You don’t ring up and tell me off for something you know nothing about, you don’t expect that I am your servant and willing to do anything you want, yet when I ask for help you do not give such or pull me down for saying I need you to do something. You expect that it’s all about give me what I want and that’s all, yet when I ask for help you fight it.

There are people out there who expect others to just give, give, give and not to want anything at all for themselves at all. They think oh yes I am going to just do what I want and go from there. I do not care if they’re busy or what that person has to say about something. It’s my way or the highway, I am in the right and there is nothing you can do about such. When someone responds to someone else’s every demand such as take me here, do this, do that. They are giving in to the person who is controlling them. When a person considers that a commitment they made is not worth them doing, its saying look I do not care about you or that is not important to me. So I am just going to leave it.

There are people out there who will always push others around they make others unhappy and drag them down. Its best to identify who these people are say no I am not going to take them pushing me around whether they like it or not. There are people who think that they will always be right no matter what and these people are quite often the hardest people to be around as they are unable to easily pleased. They think oh I am correct no matter what anyone else says, I do not care and that’s final. They do not realise that they are pushing others away from them by doing what they are doing. Quite often these people do not realise until it’s too late or their children and family are rarely in touch as they do not enjoy being with that person.

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