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Author: Mentor Ben Drake

Husband and father, mentor and coach, helping families to live better lives, model train expert living a healthy active fit lifestyle.
Coach Freedom and Friends

Being too trusting who does it hurt?

 29/11/2010 29/11/2010
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    |   Mentor Ben Drake Mentor Ben Drake
    |   10:04 am 10:04 am

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Trust it’s a big thing in any relationship if that’s a friendship, a marriage, a couple (partners, lovers, boyfriend or girlfriend). There are so many types of relationships that it’s not easy to name them all, essentially we all have relationships in our lives. Every relationship always requires trust some require more trust the others a couple who are married or seeing each other need to trust each other deeply. Where as work colleagues may not need as much trust, they may have to trust others with their lives in professions others it’s not as necessary. Trust is a necessary part of team work, when you do not trust someone how do you have any relationship with them.

It is hard, when you really trust someone and they abuse the trust then it’s not them that gets hurt. It is usually the person who trusted them that gets hurt badly. People tend to learn a lesson too quickly about trust when someone else abuses or missuses their trust. I learnt that one quite some time ago, I am a very trusting person and yes someone abused the trust quite badly. The friendship will never be the same again, there is no way it ever can be the same again. Once someone has violated your trust it is an exceptionally hard to win that trust back. The person who violated the trust in the beginning has to somehow show they are trustable again and that takes work.

As I said trusting someone too much does hurt only the person who trusted the other person deeply. When any trust is broken it’s not good for the person who has had it violated they can devalue themselves and their self esteem or self worth can start to decline further then what it was initially and that does hurt.

If you have any questions just contact or email me.

If you want to learn more about relationships http://bdrake.successin10steps.com/?mad=52669 some of the information is available from this eBook.

Be a mentor with a servants heart Ben Drake

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Decisions and a powerful day.

 28/11/2010 28/11/2010
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    |   Mentor Ben Drake Mentor Ben Drake
    |   7:00 pm 7:00 pm

I have been doing a bit of personal development lately and one thing that came to mind today is that I have put a lot of my life on hold owing to my love of my biological family. A family who I care deeply for yet they do not return such. It’s who they are as people, for me it’s time to concentrate on my own life not on that which my own family wants. It has been years since I have felt in control of my own life, e.g. not being screamed at for something. For me it’s time to do some of those things that I really want, I have lived my life for my family as per my biological family for years.

For me it’s time to walk that road of success leaving behind those painful memories of the past. It’s also time to say well this is what I am going to have in my own life and it’s knowing no matter what there are others out there who care about me. Thank you all. Last night showed many things; the people who are the greatest and yet they have also become wonderful friends. Saying hello is a pleasure with them and it’s wonderful to know them, they are the best people I could ever ask for in my life.

There is so much love coming from these friends, they are people who care about me. Yet it is not just the people who are in my business there are others also, 3 great ladies who are wonderful and external to my business each of them is a gem. It is just so great, I have put so many things on hold because I considered my brother, sister, mum and dad over myself. I listened to them their destructive ways, their opinions of what they wanted me to be. I have learned so much about myself and right now I know I give from the heart. There are people who I shall have to leave behind owing to their attitude right now. People who may never understand or be bothered understanding, that is who they are. Sure it’s been a very emotional journey and I have had to lock a lot of this up for years.

There are things that I want to know, see, experience and do. It’s not that I feel I have not lived my life, it’s more I have put others ahead of me for too long. I have done what they want rather then what I want or need to do. It is time to walk this journey and to say well I am not prepared to put up with such from my family, you are not ahead of me in my own life. I know what I am looking for with things and I am just too glad.

If you have any questions just contact or email me.

If you want to learn more about relationships http://bdrake.successin10steps.com/?mad=52669 some of the information is available from this eBook.

Be a mentor with a servants heart Ben Drake

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My story and what brought me here.

 27/11/2010 27/11/2010
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    |   Mentor Ben Drake Mentor Ben Drake
    |   9:02 am 9:02 am

<![CDATA[It is time for me to tell what brought me here. Of course I will not go into full detail of what went on.
I was born the eldest of 3, my sister is 16 months younger then myself, my brother 8 years. As you can see it’s quite a age gap, for me I grew up with parents who could not express their emotions. It’s who they are that is life and part of what happens. At 4 I had childhood epilepsy and that went on until I was roughly 12 years old. I was a active child for a few years, yet as the years went by I was not as active. In primary school I was not bullied, however in high school going to an all boys school I was bullied almost every day from year 7 until I left school. It was not a easy time for me, I went and did studies and found work working for people who themselves were bullies or just couldn’t understand.
I have had many jobs where bulling has gone on, some of it has been intimidation and being told if you do not do this then you are not getting your meal break or I am old enough to be your father, even I have a bad idea of bulling. It was who the person was, a lot of them felt it was necessary to put others down to make themselves feel bigger as a person. Ah the ego it’s something that does not help, now the thing was I was never allowed to voice my own opinion at home. I was easily told when I did to shut up or stop it, also when I did speak up about something in the past that was not right it was often ignored. Principally at times I have literally been ignored for saying something.
Anyway I went onto study computer operations I had been into computers for years, it was great learning about them in high school. As I moved on in years I did a volunteer role, however I had to leave that for medical reasons. It was not easy however I knew there was no way I would ever recover from that medical side, a hard decision yet what had to happen. I honestly could not do such, unfortunately the medical reason was a life injury and people were not prepared to understand that. For me it was a few years later that I had to get my health under control owing to my weight and other medical issues.
So I started doing such gradually at first and then found my current company. I could never of imagined what would of happened from here, I have spent the last 3 years working on myself improving myself to become a better person to get to the stage where I am now. I had to learn quite a bit as unfortunately a number of the habits I had learnt from my upbringing were rather destructive, as they say you learn so much from your own family, this includes how to manage your finances, eating habits, how to express your own emotions. Sure it was hard as it has caused a number of issues with no real emotional outlet as how I was taught was to keep your emotions bottled up. Hence me not being happy or enjoying myself and my life. I did find friends who were even more destructive then myself most of them were worse and false friends.
Anyway these days I have gone on to enjoy my life and have found 3 of the best friends I could ever ask for, I have started the journey of learning what I needed to learn for my future. Managing finances, being able to express myself is taking work, also I have had some good friendships. Some have not been able to accept who I am as a person, that I am the guy who gives them love all the time, who loves everyone. It’s part of who I am, I am also a poet and have my artistic side which is my writing. The people who could not accept me are the ones who lost out and not me, it’s part of life. Anyway I am glad to have started the process of rebuilding my life, it’s been a 3 year learning curve and yet the best one I could ask for.
I have a life I love and enjoy and I am looking forwards to those future experiences.
If you have any questions just contact or email me.
If you want to learn more about relationships http://bdrake.successin10steps.com/?mad=52669 some of the information is available from this eBook.
Be a mentor with a servants heart Ben Drake

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