Mentor Ben Drake • Coach Freedom and Friends

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Listening is a habit that can sometimes be not used by some people, there are people who just have to talk right over others. These people love to hear their own voice and rarely keep quite, they can be loud and very pushy. Now they may not be easy people to get along with. So they really need to learn the art of being a good listener, not talking as soon as someone has finished talking and letting them gather their thoughts. Some people are uncomfortable with a 3 second silence, they do not realise that silence is golden at times. Sometimes it is needed so people can think, now when someone is constantly cutting you off before you finish saying what you have to it does not help as the person speaking loses their train of thought.

Its best to be considerate enough that you give the person speaking a good gap of at least 30 to 60 seconds and do not walk away from them. Do not pick up something else to do or cross your arms as this may mean that you are not listening to the person speaking. Crossing your arms or putting them on your hips can mean I am impatient and not caring what you have to say, it’s hard yes yet these things do help to have better conversations.

The best listeners are those who are comfortable with the gap in speaking if that is 3 minutes fine, sometimes I see such a gap in some conversations. However when someone comes to you looking for support, encouragement or advice and you immediately start cutting them off it says that you do not value them or consider what you have to say is more important then what they have to say. It can be very frustrating yes that people are not listening however it is something that needs to be learned.

How you speak to people shows ultimately how much you respect them or how much respect there is in that relationship as a person. Some people can say things in a joking way and know the person just happens to be joking with them. When others say such it’s not easy for the other person, sometimes it’s using the right words with people that does help you to communicate better with that person you are talking with.

If you have any questions just contact or email me.

If you want to learn more about relationships http://bdrake.successin10steps.com/?mad=52669 some of the information is available from this eBook.

Be a mentor with a servants heart Ben Drake

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READY TO GO – The Herbalife Opportunity

01/12/2010

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| Mentor Ben Drake

| 7:53 pm

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Accepting yourself.

01/12/2010

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| Mentor Ben Drake

| 12:01 pm

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Being able to accept who you are is one the biggest things in life, everyone is made differently and others try and program us saying you should be doing this or saying no this is what you have to do. Each person has what they enjoy doing and why. For me personally I enjoy entertaining and being able to spend time with those who I love in my own environment, although at times it is what happens. As I have said a few times we all get programed by people around us. I know people who have told me to this because it’s the done thing. They do not care that I want to do things my way or the way I know how to do things.

You have to accept yourself who you are as a person, to the degree that you have to remember every single person is different. Some people like to eat healthy food, some people like to eat un healthy food, others enjoy a mixture of both. Some people like sports or enjoy going outdoors to do such others are content relaxing whist swimming or talking with people. Everyone is so different, there are people who try to force their opinions on you.

Accepting yourself is being happy with yourself as person, you need no one to validate who you are other then yourself. So what you have to do is say “I love myself” to yourself regularly and I do mean regularly. Can you say it to yourself, I could never do that. Because it was hard, it took time and work. These days I love myself, accepting yourself is about also accepting where you are in life and saying well I am not going to put myself down anymore. Unfortunately people may have made us feel bad at some point because of their own belief in themselves. So they tear others down, you need to find a way to distance yourself from those influences and say the good positive things to yourself.

Each person has a different idea of what they want from life and what their purpose is. Everyone is here for a reason, they just need to find it. When someone has been put down for years it is hard to find work, to be yourself and to love yourself. The main reason for this is because you do not feel able to express yourself, you may have been told shut up when talking, not allowed to express your opinion or otherwise. Its hard yes, these days I am learning more and more ways to remove those negative thoughts and reprogram my mind with positive thoughts. It will take work and time yet it’s what I have to do.

Accepting yourself is loving yourself with all your own faults and failings, knowing this is what you are to do and going ok. Do you know what your purpose is in life. It is ok to not know, yet when people do know it really does help them discover themselves better.

If you have any questions just contact or email me.

If you want to learn more about relationships http://bdrake.successin10steps.com/?mad=52669 some of the information is available from this eBook.

Be a mentor with a servants heart Ben Drake

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