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Author: Mentor Ben Drake

Husband and father, mentor and coach, helping families to live better lives, model train expert living a healthy active fit lifestyle.
Coach Freedom and Friends

Behind every successful person is a loving partner

 10/02/2011 10/02/2011
    |   No Comments No Comments
    |   Mentor Ben Drake Mentor Ben Drake
    |   11:08 am 11:08 am

Abraham Lincoln was unsuccessful until he met the only woman who he truly did love. Now behind every successful man or woman happens to be a truly loving partner who accepts supports and loves them as a person. No matter what the person looks like, no matter what they love them. This person cares about them deeply and they are special to that person, when they do truly love someone and are accepted and loved for who they are then the person can go on to achieve many things. People may go through life searching for that person who desires them all their lives. Others will find that person. When you find someone who loves you for you and desires you no matter what you look like it is an amazing experience.

A lot of people will literally be crying out through the lack of love and appreciation that they receive for who they are as a person. Each person needs to feel loved, respected and supported. Even appreciated for who they are as a person. When you cannot do such then you will go downhill, you will go into one of a number of different states. Yet when you are appreciated then you will gradually come away from those states. It will take work and encouragement, yet it can be done. When a woman is not feeling loved or supported she goes out there and does things for everyone looking for that love and support. That she is starved of, however when a man is man is deprived of love and support he may start overwork and trying to be more successful. He is literally crying out for the attention which he is starved of as is the woman.

Now it takes support and encouragement to draw someone out of these states, you have to appreciate believe and trust in them. You have to show them that you appreciate them and want them there, giving them the thing that they are missing. It’s about recognising what the person is missing, even having the guts to ask that person and listening to what they are saying. Remember that behind that successful person is someone who truly does love them and they truly love that person. Sometimes you have to say to the person who you love, tell me what are your desires what do you really want from life and a partner. You are asking how can I love you best and what is it you truly want. You see when you fore fill other people’s needs it often fore fills your own needs too, when the person who you love is feeling loved they are capable of doing anything they want in life. This person will go on to to be a great big success, however when they do not have such from a loving partner, then their lives are in tatters. You can always tell when someone loves themselves and when someone does not. You can also tell when someone is in love and loved by that person too.

A person who loves themselves will dress differently and even have a healthy appearance, whereas someone who does not tends to not care about their appearance. The person who does not love themselves can tend to dress poorly and be sloppy in appearance. They may have weight to lose also, now the person who does love themselves will dress tidy and will be comfortable who they are as a person. They are people who take care of their health as best as they can no matter what, they do what they can. The person who loves themselves draws people to them, where as the person who does not love themselves will tend to push others away. They are crying out for love and are starved of such. I have seen both sides of this coin in my own life, there are people who I care about and they do not care about their health, others who do care about their health and want to keep themselves as fit as possible.

People have many destructive behaviours when they are unloved and lack of love is a two way street. You may hear blame from someone however they do not realise they were as much to blame as the other person. When a relationship breaks down its because the person quite often stoped caring about things, they stopped caring about the other person, even the family. It’s hard when this happens. What is best is to show that person who you care about that you love them and truly care about them no matter what may happen.

Want to know more? Just ask. You can call or email me.

Want to learn more about relationships http://bdrake.successin10steps.com/?mad=52669 information is available from this eBook.

Be mentored for free Ben Drake

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Life’s Lessons

 09/02/2011 09/02/2011
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    |   Mentor Ben Drake Mentor Ben Drake
    |   11:30 am 11:30 am

As I sat there reading one of my current readers recently titled Rich Dad Poor Dad by Robert Kiyosaki. Essentially the book is about financial management and financial independence, however it’s a book on lessons of the rich and how to become successful. It teaches us what you need to do to become successful. One thing that really stuck out was the part that it’s not people that are pushing you around its life. Life is saying to you look there is something I want you to learn; you need to learn this for your future. Most people don’t realise that during those rough times they are being taught a lesson or someone is being guided by the universe to teach them a lesson as a person. These lessons can be both good and bad. Often the lessons will have a meaning.

Everyone grows up learning from what experiences they have, we are taught our financial management strategy's from our primary carers, you are taught about relationships and given those skills through them too. Quite often life is using that person as a conduit to teach you something, it may be teaching you about commitment as a person. It may be trying to show you that you are ready for that next phase of your own life. Other times you are being taught how to be stronger or the skills which you are going to need in the future. Sometimes it may take 3 years, 17 years or life to realise the extent of these lessons which life is offering. There is no way to tell and to know how long those lessons will take.

People learn from their experiences as a person, I am sure that people can remember what it is like to really care about someone and what it’s like when they are gone. That is hard yet losing someone who we love teaches us a lesson, you have to think about what you are being taught when these lessons appear. When you resist the change then you are resisting the lesson which is being offered to you by that other person, yes it’s hard when you need to learn such. Some people get defensive when life is trying to teach you a lesson or say something however it’s who they are as people, nothing you can do about such at all.

The best vantage point is to take such as learning experience and learn what you have to as a person. Are you overworking, are you doing too much, are you not feeling loved. You never know what these lessons are.

Want to know more? Just ask. You can call or email me.

Want to learn more about relationships http://bdrake.successin10steps.com/?mad=52669 information is available from this eBook.

Be mentored for free Ben Drake

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Depression

 08/02/2011 08/02/2011
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    |   Mentor Ben Drake Mentor Ben Drake
    |   10:25 am 10:25 am

Depression is not a sign of weakness it’s a sign that you have been too strong for an extended period. That you have quite possibly sublimated or hidden feelings inside you and locked them off from being expressed. The hardest part is that people do not realise that their feelings have been locked off or unacknowledged. This happens as we do not want to hurt someone who means a lot to us whether it’s a friend, family member or otherwise, even ourselves.

We lock off our own wants and needs, taking care of others wants and needs and therefore what we do is no longer acknowledge our own wants and desires. What you need to do is acknowledge them and go from there as a person. Sometimes it’s about knowing what we want and saying no I am going to go for this no matter what does happen. Its best to work out what influences are dragging you down and to walk away from that environment when possible no matter what.

Want to know more? Just ask. You can call or email me.

Want to learn more about relationships http://bdrake.successin10steps.com/?mad=52669 information is available from this eBook.

Be mentored for free Ben Drake

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The times that show who are as a person

 07/02/2011 07/02/2011
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    |   Mentor Ben Drake Mentor Ben Drake
    |   11:15 am 11:15 am

Throughout our lives we are tested to see who we really are as a person. There are many times we are tested to see if we are strong enough to be worth what is ahead of us, we are tested to see should we be ready to move onto the step, the tests ask us what would you do in this situation. Sure there are some which you are going to pass and others where you will fail, however the tests often either offer a lesson or a chance to show just who you are. Sometimes you are put in a situation to see just what you are going to do. There are times when it’s going to rough as anything and other times when it will be calm.

It’s the nature of life however often at these times you get to see who you really are. Life is never easy; however those little things do show just the type of person you are as a person. Given the right environment people will do anything. When someone feels loved they walk different, talk different and look different. However when they are down they don’t walk the same. Yes ok at times someone is concentrating and thinking hmm, other times people are pondering just what to do. Yet during these days we are shown a bit about our own character. When our mood is right and positive we find that we are given more and more opportunities.

I know what I am doing is right and I am on the right path personally, I have made the right decision. When people say well “I can’t help you”, it’s not saying I can’t, it’s saying well don’t want to help or I won’t help you achieve that. The days that show what your character is like really do test you sometimes, even the weekends. However it’s saying well this is what is important to me and no matter what I am going to achieve this goal. No one can stop me, I do not care how many times I have to rebuild you are not going to knock me down. No matter what I am going to do this.

It is these times that you show what is important to you as a person. What you also believe in, the tests in front of you allow you to recognise ok such. Quite often we have tests that show how determined we are, when we go ahead with what we know is right then it’s just saying ok yes that is right. When you know that your plan is sound then nothing will be able to knock away that foundation which you built, however with an unstable foundation or plan it does not work as you tend to need to rebuild it owing to the tests or bad things always destroying your work. Sometimes the tests are also designed to show some weakness or area where we need to grow as a person, yet no matter what these times how us who we truly are as a person.

Want to know more? Just ask. You can call or email me.

Want to learn more about relationships http://bdrake.successin10steps.com/?mad=52669 information is available from this eBook.

Be mentored for free Ben Drake

Read More
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