Mentor Ben Drake • Coach Freedom and Friends

A interesting topic, when someone is pushing you away it is not easy to maintain any friendship or relationship at all. Even though the person may not realise that they are pushing you away and not pulling you towards them; some people do not realise that they are actually pushing people away. To deal with being pushed away it is a matter of speaking up and saying I am not going to take this at all, it is also about speaking to the person about what is going on and how you are feeling as a person.

Unfortunately, some people are unable to handle that conversation at all. They must learn it some other way; there is nothing that can be done about such. The person must understand that they have essentially pushed people away in another way. Some people will push others away because of a trauma or pain in their own life, which has happened. Unfortunately, they do not realise this, yet when they do, they work as hard as they can to mend those relationships.

Some people never learn that they have to mend those relationships themselves and they make people feel unwanted, unneeded and unloved. Unfortunately, its part of life, yet at the same time you have to deal with such. You can choose to live with that pain and not deal with such which is going to literally destroy you in the end. You could also find some way to release that pain and say ok I forgive you for doing that to me, you did not know what you were doing.

When we push someone away from us, it hurts the person and us also. It tends to hurt us more.

Want to know more? Just ask. You can call or email me.

Do you want to learn how to create better relationships? Information is available by downloading our free eBook.

Healing from a past pain

24/03/2011

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| Mentor Ben Drake

| 9:54 am

This is never easy for anyone healing from the pain of a trauma or simular. However, it just happens to be something that is part of live, healing from those painful memories is different for each person. In order to heal we need to express that pain with people whom we trust, so that our pain is able to be worked on. This takes a lot of trust in the person to be able to work through some of that large past pains. Sometimes it takes work and time; sometimes the pain happens to of been locked away until that person is ready to heal from such.

Getting over these past problems can take years of therapy for people; whist other people will need loads of support. It really depends on the person as to what works and does not, sometimes it takes counselling and the love of a wonderful partner to allow them to heal. Different things work for different people and it just takes work and time for people to heal. Everyone has a different way of dealing with his or her pain. Everyone has to find a way to leave that pain behind no matter what.

As I said it does mean counselling along with lots of love for someone to really heal from a very traumatic experience as a person. It really depends on the person as a whole as to what they need.

Want to know more? Just ask. You can call or email me.

Do you want to learn how to create better relationships? Information is available by downloading our free eBook.

When you abuse or bully someone do you respect yourself

23/03/2011

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| Mentor Ben Drake

| 10:17 am

This just happens to be a very interesting topic; we have to think about all the different factors. Unfortunately, someone who does not respect themselves quite often has little respect for others. Abusing and bullying someone as per telling them to shut up, even telling them off when they are speaking or not allowing them to even speak is saying I do not respect you. The person ultimately has little respect for himself or herself when the person is putting someone else down.

Abuse and bullying is a form of control, the person is trying to control you as a person. The person has no control of their own life so they are trying to take control of someone else’s lives so that they can start to feel better about themselves. They think making another person feel small or worse off is going to make them feel better as a person. However, these people often only feel better temporarily. The best way to deal with this to no longer push others around, and not to control them at all. To work on not being in control of another person’s life and expecting him or her to listen to what you must say.

The thing you must do is stop and think about what you have to say rather than saying the first things that come into your own mouth. This is the best solution for people who can tend to push others around. Also to think about your words before saying anything at all.

Want to know more? Just ask. You can call or email me.

Do you want to learn how to create better relationships? Information is available by downloading our free eBook.

Disrespect–Do you care about the other person or not?

22/03/2011

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| Mentor Ben Drake

| 10:59 am

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A very interesting question asking do you respect that person or care about them when you show them disrespect telling them to shut up, not allowing them to say anything by shunning them for even speaking up. These people think they know everything, they think they are the smartest people in the world, believing that they can say what they want and then expecting those around them will accept their forced opinion; and what they have to say. The definition of respect is interesting it says both positive feeling for a person of other entity (such as nation or religion). Hmm how interesting so disrespect is the opposite wether it is for yourself, another person, religion or nation.

Do they care? Yes, they care, however they do not realise what they are doing is pushing the people who love them most; and that they love too they are pushing away the love, which that person has for them. The person who is on the receiving end of such gets to the point where they say, I love you but I do not like you or what you are doing. These people think that they are so smart, however these people destroy their own and others lives, by telling the people them that they are worthless, telling them to shut up, now allowing them to have an opinion or say no. That what they know is right no matter what even. It can often be my way or the highway when relating with these people, these people show others little or no love at all.

They make people feel belittled and as if they have no right to the feelings, they have. However, these people at the same time think they are able to say; and do whatever they please; and essentially treat people like rubbish. They expect that they can get away with not respecting someone and demanding they be respected as a person. Respect must be earned it cannot be forced, you cannot force someone to love you and you cannot force someone to respect you. You cannot make someone do something that they do not want to do at all. However, these people tend to destroy their own and others lives unfortunately, there are good people out there whose lives that are destroyed; through another person’s lack of respect for them as a person.

Want to know more? Just ask. You can call or email me.

Do you want to learn how to create better relationships? Information is available by downloading our free eBook.

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You are unique

21/03/2011

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| Mentor Ben Drake

| 8:50 am

Each of us is unique in what we do and how we are as a person, that we have our own unique talents and how we can relate to people as a whole. Unfortunately some people cannot understand that others need their space, their time alone and time to get things done. Everyone has abilities, which others do not have, and it is not easy when some people expect that others can just do what they want when they want and will push them around as a person. There are unfortunately people who cannot understand that there are things some people are able to do and that which they are not able to do.

As a person each of us has own unique talents and abilities. Which we need to use in our everyday lives as a person.

Want to know more? Just ask. You can call or email me.

Do you want to learn how to create better relationships? Information is available by downloading our free eBook.

Author: Mentor Ben Drake

Being pushed away as a person

Healing from a past pain

When you abuse or bully someone do you respect yourself

Disrespect–Do you care about the other person or not?

You are unique