Wow what a chapter, this chapter really hit home. It reminded me that over the years I have developed a lot of persistence and just kept on going despite a great number of obstacles standing in the way. You see without persistence I would have stopped seeking a relationship; and a loving family years ago; for many years I had been searching for love and that family ever since I was young.
A memory which have being a young boy when I had a crush on one of the girls who learned to play tennis with, except was unable to do anything about such. It was more that was unable to express self at all. That was the battle, I knew what was feeling yet was unable to speak such. I just didn’t have a way to express what was going on at that point. This has been part of the battle throughout own life, that can tell what is going on inside, yet am unable to fully express such.
As the years went by I developed more and more crushes on women some of whom let’s say were more of a sexual attraction. Some of who were the wrong choices for such, at that time I was unable to even realise what that emotion was feeling. Yes at times I did manage to say hey would you like to go out sometime. There’d be times when I’d be met with rejection saying I have a boyfriend or we’d hang out yet it just didn’t work, even a flat out no. Yet I just kept on going and didn’t give up at all.
I would send out a introduction via online dating however it was the wrong person, I just wasn’t what they were looking for. Some people I’d meet and I was unable to realise hey this person is totally wrong for me. I was myself and yet the person was unable to accept such, so I stopped being him. I’d turn up something for a birthday and the person wasn’t able to accept such. I was unaware that it wasn’t working with that person as well or unable to see they weren’t interested in that way.
At the same time I was seeking friendships also, just wanting to be people’s friends. I’d ring people up and see how they were going, some for a chat and they would read it all wrong. After learning some skills via personal development I started to get gradual success with relationships and went from there. Yet I still had to learn a lot and feel comfortable with myself as a person. The person who just gave to others and when had something that he knew they could use he’d give it to them.
Before meet Jenny I had to send out a lot of introductions, get to know a number of women online via online dating and even face to face, some were introductions as a joke of some form from the kids at school, yet I learned a lot those who wanted to know me or get to know me that was wonderful, those who saw me as the next bed buddy ok, those who saw me as a relationship potential excellent, after meeting Jenny it only occurred to me that a lot of the women had met were wrong and would of really only been about one area. That would have really been about the sex.
For years I had scared a lot of women off through own commitment and desire to have a family of own with wife and kids. A number of them could hear such, yet they were unwilling to walk down that road. I wasn’t able to realise such until many years later that by being myself and saying this is where I am heading I had screened a lot of the women and a lot of the time they were the wrong person for me. A number of them were unable to accept that guy who was so committed to a family and to that road. Then I met Jenny and everything fell into place,
Another powerful ahha moment that had when reading this chapter was that I had shown own persistence through continuing to go to the gym in order to regain and maintain health which did for years by continuing to go the gym 3 days a week before 7 am for a number of years. It was own health, either I worked on maintaining such and keeping such at the best could or I would go downhill quickly. Ending up worse, I needed to keep on going or would end up with more knee dislocations and own back worse.
Yet another ahha moment was I had kept on going with creating relationships and learning to create those despite some very poor relationships and learning some very valuable lessons from such. As well as that I had kept on going with business despite again learning some powerful lessons from people who have been in business with.
I would like to thank my amazing mentor Ken Klemm for your inspiration, guidance, love, support, encouragement and believing in me until was able to believe in myself. To the amazing and wonderful Michael Dlouhy and Willena Flewelling thank you for your support, love, encouragement as well. Thank you to amazing mental cleanse participants for your love, support and wonderful lessons that you post which inspire me. Finally thank you to the amazing, wonderful, beautiful Jenny with her heart of gold, who has been a rock and a support network. I love you so much hun,
Wishing you all a happy Christmas, a wonderful new year, a prosperous 2014. Wishing you also abundant love, health and life and a huge hug,
Benjamin Mathew Drake
Mona Vale Sydney NSW Australia
Wishing you the best in health and love and big hugs
Jenny and Ben
This lesson plan was inspired by chapter from think and grow rich the 30 day mental cleanse.
You can participate in the 30 day mental cleanse at http://www.30daycleanse.com
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