Forgiveness
Something that can be very frustrating is learning to forgive. Especially when you have grown up having failed to learn such from your upbringing. It may have been something that even our parents didn’t know. However in order for any relationship to grow we all need to forgive, forget the past and leting it go. As my good friend and wonderful amazing mentor Michael Dlouhy says “we have to live in the now”. Each person has to live in the present moment, it’s a journey learning to forgive. Part of living in the now is about ok the Dr wants to see us in 6 months, that is then and rite now it’s this point in time.
What can we do between that point and rite now to own our lives. What is able to be done right at this point in time, forgiveness is about living in that moment and forgetting the past.
Yes there are some out there who are unable to understand that learning to forgive has yet to be learned by a person even in adulthood. Until they do they may remain sick and ill at times its about letting go of the past and moving on. Sometimes a persons illness can be from a persons feelings towards a situation that they need to let it go. They have to stop replaying a situation in their mind and thoughts.
At that point the person will start to get better. In the our previous post on without your health the article stated that “The ones who have struggled all their life need to meet that caring person who really won’t leave their side. They need that love caring and support as a person. Sometimes they need to know that they are cared about by someone who sees them as a important person to them.” In a way the person has remained stuck in that past bad relationship or something that has happened. This person is someone who needs assistance to forgive, yet also to live at that point where they are.
In a way also focusing on the current relationship that they are in. Forgetting all those past failed relationships and moving on, learning those lessons from the mistakes which we have all made as a person. A persons health can be the result of some bad feelings towards some event, they need to forgive themselves. They need to forgive the offender in order to be able to move on and become that much stronger better person.
The person you can find hardest to forgive is yourself, that you see you have failed in some way. Yet it may be that you did your best or it was really someone elses responsibility to do what you are feeling you have failed in. As was the case within own life, that felt failure of parents relationship was own fault. However it was their responsibility to accept and forgive to work on their relationship. It took many years to understand it was their responsibility for their own relationship, whist it was mine for the ones which I was in personally. Yet also that there are people who literally were unable to accept who was as a person.
It takes a lot of forgiveness to forgive that person although they may have done something wrong. After breaking up with a now ex I asked how they were, to me I had forgiven them for who they were as a person and how they treated me wanting to see how they were as person yet they decided to cut all ties. Now that was their choice, yes it hurt. However it lead to something even better long term. It took a lot of growing up and a lot of working on myself to be able to walk away from that relationship knowing that the next relationship would be better.
Someone who needs to work on forgiveness may need to know that someone truly cares about who they are as a person and from there the person starts to shine. They may need that strong positive influence too. It may have been many years since that person was wronged as have seen happen, yet a person can hold such within themselves for many years. This then shows up in their appearance as how they speak or act around others.
Forgiveness is about letting go of that pain and regret even though it may have happened so long ago. You may feel oh you didn’t do enough, you should of done better, you deserved better, the person wronged you in some way. Yes that person may of, however you are giving them your power when you allow it continue within your own head. You have to take the power back. Forgiveness is about remembering the good times and letting those painful memories go, ok so the relationship didn’t workout how you wanted it to.
Yet you did your best, your ex may have been mean, yet there is someone out there who appreciates the person you are, what you do, what you give as a person. They accept you for who you are as a person. They forgive you when you are hurting and are there for you. Yet within our own lives we all have to learn to practice forgiveness and live here in the moment. We are unable to keep on replaying those painful scenes in our minds for life as it destroys us as a person.
Your comments and feedback are important to us. What are your thoughts?
A mentor with a servants heart
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