Month: October 2012

Chapter 6 Imagination

When I was young I had a wild imagination and this lasted for many years. Yet after hanging around the wrong influneces and being unable to recognise such I let this decline.

For many years I have dreamed of having a wife and kids, yet it never came to reality. Owing to being unable to love myself, I also dreamed of building a model train layout of my own. Which only recently I discovered what the layout was to be and what wanted to do with the layout.

For years I was just messing around with my model trains at times it just sat there very little being done, yet I didn’t realise what was wanting to do with my layout. There was very little there. It was only recently that I decided what I wanted the layout to be. Its called Katoomba Mountains which part of the blue mountains a couple of hours from home.

This layout is to be built around the town called Katoomba past and present running trains from the periods. I have sat down for many years being unsure what wanted with my own layout, it was nothing much until I joined the train club. Now I am looking to build this layout with snow, sceenary, 3 sisters, town, waterfall, rocks, stock lines and yard with the station too.

In this chapter we are told that it all comes back to that which we conceive is what we believe. We must have the faith to see it through until it’s completion, for me with my wanting to settle down with a wife and kids has been the same type of thing. Its sat there for years, I have searched and dated so many people with very little success.

However I believe in such, the dream and being able to settle down with a wonderful family of my own. Its taken years to become that person who is making new friends because he hung around the wrong influences which dragged him down. It’s taken years to realise that for years was seeking the friendship and often wanted the social contact yet such was rare to come my way. I was so hurt that was incapable of having such relationships. As I was didn’t love myself as a person.

There have been times when I have literally broken down because relationships were so hard personally, they were a battle. Yet I have had to work through such, I have worked for years rebuilding my own self and building my own confidence within myself. I know I can do this, I imagine that day when I am married on the beach to a wonderful woman and spending the rest of my life with her. Showing her that she means so much to me my wife and living in a world without limits at all.

A world contray to what grew up in. That’s ok, it’s a much better world than what knew. I have had to become that person, to become worth it all. Yes there have been so many challenges and learning to love myself has been the major battle of all. Its been learning to be that wonderful person who cares and loves others, yet also loves himself and wants to share that love with others.

That world exists and I am building it, sharing my love for others. Its time build that world, as many people have said. Should you be able to dream it, then you can do it. For me its time to do such, the world where I travel the world and enjoy time with my family. Yet also have those friends who love most dearly.

Thank you to Michael, Willena, Ken for your love mentoring and guidance, to the wonderful mental cleanse participents thank you for your inspiring and motivating lessons.

Abundent Love,

Ben Drake

Mona Vale Sydney NSW Australia

Personal lesson plan for on chapter 6 for the 30 day mental cleanse.

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