November, 2010 • Coach Freedom and Friends

Weight management can be a hard thing for many people owing to a number of reasons. People may have issues owing to abuse, stress or otherwise which often affects their lives and their self esteem. The hard part is sometimes people do not realise what is going on, for me my stress reaction is looking for food. It is hard as sometimes I do not realise I am stressed for days until I am actually already doing the things that I used to do when stressed. That is making those bad choices for foods or simular.

Now in order to successfully maintain ones weight it means eating when you are hungry, also not stress eating. That is very hard, it’s about being aware of yourself and who you are as a person, not eating when stressed on angry for some reason. It’s recognising the signs of being under stress, there are also other reasons why people put on weight. A real big one is lack of physical activity, plainly the person is not getting enough physical exercise as a person. They are not burning up the calories and foods which they are eating during the day.

One way of dealing with this is reducing the size portions of meals, however also eating more protein rich foods and less of the bad foods (e.g. foods which have loads of fat and sugar in them), you can still eat those foods you love just cut back. Eat a smaller portion of the meat product and a larger salad and vegies then what you used to in the past. It means making a conscious choice, now that choice means deciding between healthy or unhealthy. Ok yes it good to have a snack from time to time, however what good is having a snack of bag of potato chips followed by a soft drink. For me I make the decision when I eat fast food and that’s very rarely these days.

I may say ok yes I am happy to have take away every 3 or 4 weeks. Rather then some people who have takeaway at least once a week. It’s making those better choices, health wise you will feel better when you your weight is under control. I know that was the case for myself, when I started being serious about my weight loss and getting it under control it gave me more mobility, I could move up and down the stairs faster where as I could not do such in the past after the 3rd dislocation of one of my knee caps. Also I was capable of standing for longer then 1 and 1/2 hours owing to pain in my back. These days standing for longer then 1 and 1/2 hours rarely causes any problems, I can also swim so much better then what I used to be able to do.

So much has changed and for me life is just so great, I really enjoy all the changes. Being able to do what I do and knowing that I have made the right choices in life. Everyone has different ways of controlling their health and weight, yet they often need to work out what is necessary to do such.

If you want to learn more about relationships http://bdrake.successin10steps.com/?mad=52669 some of the information is available from this eBook.

Be a mentor with a servants heart Ben Drake

Staying on course with goals and dreams

19/11/2010

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| Mentor Ben Drake

| 11:44 am

Staying on course for any goal or dream is never easy. I know that you need to have someone there for you constantly who is willing to support you through your own goals and dreams. I have included a couple of photos in todays blog, these photos are the result of me being determined to get my own health under control. Sure it’s rough at times however having a goal and a focus of what you are looking for or wanting is something that has to happen.

To learn just how I did get my weight under control just ask. I will be honest it took time and patience, the first photo is from October 2007 and the 2nd photo is August 2010. Now you can not achieve any goal with focusing on such and believing you are already in possession of that goal or dream. You do not lose weight overnight, you do not go from a double or triple xl to a small over night yet that is just part of my personal story. Without persistence you can not obtain that goal. Nothing in life is impossible it’s just people gave up trying, often unfortunately people will tend to give up just as the reward is about to come. It’s hard and rough at times you need to say lets do this, there are going to be people who say no you can not do such and will do everything to sabotage your best efforts. Really it’s about having someone else help you believe in yourself and believe in you being able to achieve that goal so that eventually what happens is you end up achieving that goal and believing in such yourself.

Remember a goal is something you have to have. It’s something that means a lot to you as a person; it may be that new car, that marriage, that baby, finding that right partner, finding that right house, a holiday, weight loss or health improvement as I was initially looking for when I first stated getting my own health under control I was not a well person when I first started in October 2007. Anyway as I was saying you need to focus and believe that you have that goal, know the goal is yours not let the negative talk get to you.

When I focused on getting my health under control it happened, when I focused on finding someone who I could get close to I found them, it took work and time. I have seen so many changes as the result of them in my life, they have been such a great friend to me. People may come and go from your own life, yet the real friends you can pick up where you left off and it’s like you were never apart. I saw that happen earlier this year and it was interesting, it happened with someone who I had a good friendship with yet had not seen in 3 years.

They were taken away from my life, they served their purpose, they started teaching me how to express myself and say look I am who I am and nothing is going to change that at all. I started to see the real me, then I met my good friend and they have taken it further then what it was.

If you want to learn more about relationships http://bdrake.successin10steps.com/?mad=52669 some of the information is available from this eBook.

Be a mentor with a servants heart

Goals and Dreams checking your course

18/11/2010

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| Mentor Ben Drake

| 11:17 am

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People get taken off course from their dreams or goals by a variety of different things. The main way that a person can be taken away from what they want is from their influences e.g. family, friends or otherwise. A saying that really touches me is from Jim Rohn it says

When you find your mountain in life go for it. Some people will say no that mountain is to high, it’s too steep, you are not good enough to do that, you can not do that. Jim’s reply is I am going to the top, you are either going to see me waving my flag from the top of the mountain or dead on the side because I am not coming back.

What does this mean is that when you find the goal or dream you are aiming for which is your metaphorical mountain there will be people saying to you you are not prepared to climb that mountain, it’s too hard, too rough, too steep. Now they will be trying their hardest to say go for this one it’s easier and better, however for that person who has set the goal of such it is their goal and dream no one else’s. What you need to do is have in your mind what you want, write down the goals with why you want such, how it looks, feels and is, what you are prepared to give up in order to achieve that goal. As they say in life you do not get something for nothing.

Now once this is done you need to have a way of knowing you are on course for your goal, there are plenty of ways to make sure you are on course. For example a relationship goal the simple fact that the person is still around suggests that you have done nothing to offend them, it also says that the person values your friendship, they value you when you are communicating regularly. Each goal has a number of action steps that need to be taken before you can proceed to that next step, it can be hard or easy for some people they are a great challenge.

It depends on the goal as to what you need to learn, someone who has had few friendships or not had good quality friendships needs to learn about relationship skills to develop those better quality friends. They also need to develop confidence within themselves, a long term relationship goal may mean the person needs to learn to be able to connect with the person but also many other things, like how to make their partner feel loved and supported.

Every person comes with a different learning curve, I know mine was a hard one only because of the limited number of friendships I had. I needed to develop confidence and love for myself, yet also learn about myself to find those friends. Sometimes you can tell you are hitting the goal right on every single time with just a word or action, other times it’s not easy to tell you are on track however often there will be some form of indicator which shows you are on course heading for that goal. When you do know you are off course the best thing to do is figure out where you are on that road map or plan and reset your course.

That means working towards establishing the goal dream and working towards making sure you put your energy into doing such. When I concentrated on finding a best friend who could be more with time I found that. It’s about working towards your goal and doing the leg work to achieve it, sometimes you need to make a lot or a few changes.

If you want to learn more about relationships http://bdrake.successin10steps.com/?mad=52669 some of the information is available from this eBook.

Be a mentor with a servants heart Ben Drake

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Your Goals and Dreams

17/11/2010

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| Mentor Ben Drake

| 11:13 am

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Everyone has goals and dreams, there are a number of reasons why a person may not achieved their goals and dreams. They can normally be summed up into the following.

You physically stopped dreaming and believing in your own goals and dreams.
You have let outside influences either good or bad take you away from those goals or dreams.
You are unsure what you are aiming for or looking for.
You may not have the required skills needed to achieve that goal yet.
You are missing some piece of information or something that is vital.

These are just some of the reasons why people fail to achieve their goals, for me it was because I quit dreaming just stopped owing to influences in my life. A goal is something you have to have, that new home, that house, that new car, even that baby or child. However often you need to change and become more to achieve what goal you are aiming for, as I said sometimes you need to change in order to achieve that goal. It can be ok what needs to happen so I can achieve this goal.

For me personally I need to learn a few things, yet one thing I do need to do is lower my stress, work on developing my friendships and not living in the past. Ok that’s the hardest thing as sometimes it’s not easy, but it is what does need to happen.

Anyway ask yourself what is there that needs to change before I can achieve this goal, what needs to happen before such. Sometimes it could be a small change or a big change, for me I am working on all 3 of those areas above as well as not letting people walk over me.

Anyway have a great day, if you have any questions just contact or email me.

If you want to learn more about relationships http://bdrake.successin10steps.com/?mad=52669 some of the information is available from this eBook.

Be a mentor with a servants heart Ben Drake

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Leadership

16/11/2010

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| Mentor Ben Drake

| 11:10 am

Ok so what is a leader a leader is someone who is a reader, someone who is willing to learn and make the mistakes yet also take risks. They are not people who continually drive fear into another persons life, if a leader starts using fear with someone who is following them either a child, a colleague a co-worker an employee that person will start giving low quality work. If someone is told to do something by using because I said so, because I know so or otherwise; then the person who is told such does eventually start saying no way. I am not going to take this.

Remember parents are leaders themselves, some parents do not realise they are instilling fear in their children’s lives by not allowing them to express themselves. They treat people like they are rubbish so this influence rubs off on them. What that means is if you hang around the alcoholic or one of your parents is an alcoholic is it influences you as a person. Ok yes it ties back to yesterdays post on influences, a leader is someone who knows where he is heading in life.

They know what they want from life and where the end goal is. They are constantly learning, they are not someone who will not speak up, they are not someone who lets others walk over them. For me two of my greatest leadership challenges are I let people walk over me and I do not often speak up when something is not fair or I am not being treated fairly. A true leader is someone who will speak up, they will listen to what the other person says fully and you will have their full attention. They are not someone who will interrupt another person, they will allow that person to talk for as long as they need to. However they also recognise that sometimes people need to be told keep it brief or that they only have a specific time frame.

Leaders are people who listen, they make sure that person has finished speaking. Not as soon as the person takes a breath do they start speaking, I know people who are like that. They love the sound of their own voice. Then their are people who do not care what another person says they just have to use their mouth to make a person feel small and bad, they in still fear in people. These people are the hardest to be around and yet they do not realise they are making lives miserable for others. Their world is dark, gloomy and negative so they want others to be hurting themselves. They refuse to think about anyone else. Leaders often leave their own troubles at the door when they are asked for advice or help.

A leader is a reader always learning, they are not someone who has to be little others, they are people who are constantly learning and wanting to work on themselves. As they say it’s learning how to become a better person as a whole and knowing where your own personal limits are. I am slowly getting to learn mine.

If you want to learn more about relationships http://bdrake.successin10steps.com/?mad=52669 some of the information is available from this eBook.

Be a mentor with a servants heart Ben Drake

Month: November 2010

Weight management and Health

Staying on course with goals and dreams

Goals and Dreams checking your course

Your Goals and Dreams

Leadership