<![CDATA[It is time for me to tell what brought me here. Of course I will not go into full detail of what went on.
I was born the eldest of 3, my sister is 16 months younger then myself, my brother 8 years. As you can see it’s quite a age gap, for me I grew up with parents who could not express their emotions. It’s who they are that is life and part of what happens. At 4 I had childhood epilepsy and that went on until I was roughly 12 years old. I was a active child for a few years, yet as the years went by I was not as active. In primary school I was not bullied, however in high school going to an all boys school I was bullied almost every day from year 7 until I left school. It was not a easy time for me, I went and did studies and found work working for people who themselves were bullies or just couldn’t understand.
I have had many jobs where bulling has gone on, some of it has been intimidation and being told if you do not do this then you are not getting your meal break or I am old enough to be your father, even I have a bad idea of bulling. It was who the person was, a lot of them felt it was necessary to put others down to make themselves feel bigger as a person. Ah the ego it’s something that does not help, now the thing was I was never allowed to voice my own opinion at home. I was easily told when I did to shut up or stop it, also when I did speak up about something in the past that was not right it was often ignored. Principally at times I have literally been ignored for saying something.
Anyway I went onto study computer operations I had been into computers for years, it was great learning about them in high school. As I moved on in years I did a volunteer role, however I had to leave that for medical reasons. It was not easy however I knew there was no way I would ever recover from that medical side, a hard decision yet what had to happen. I honestly could not do such, unfortunately the medical reason was a life injury and people were not prepared to understand that. For me it was a few years later that I had to get my health under control owing to my weight and other medical issues.
So I started doing such gradually at first and then found my current company. I could never of imagined what would of happened from here, I have spent the last 3 years working on myself improving myself to become a better person to get to the stage where I am now. I had to learn quite a bit as unfortunately a number of the habits I had learnt from my upbringing were rather destructive, as they say you learn so much from your own family, this includes how to manage your finances, eating habits, how to express your own emotions. Sure it was hard as it has caused a number of issues with no real emotional outlet as how I was taught was to keep your emotions bottled up. Hence me not being happy or enjoying myself and my life. I did find friends who were even more destructive then myself most of them were worse and false friends.
Anyway these days I have gone on to enjoy my life and have found 3 of the best friends I could ever ask for, I have started the journey of learning what I needed to learn for my future. Managing finances, being able to express myself is taking work, also I have had some good friendships. Some have not been able to accept who I am as a person, that I am the guy who gives them love all the time, who loves everyone. It’s part of who I am, I am also a poet and have my artistic side which is my writing. The people who could not accept me are the ones who lost out and not me, it’s part of life. Anyway I am glad to have started the process of rebuilding my life, it’s been a 3 year learning curve and yet the best one I could ask for.
I have a life I love and enjoy and I am looking forwards to those future experiences.
If you have any questions just contact or email me.
If you want to learn more about relationships http://bdrake.successin10steps.com/?mad=52669 some of the information is available from this eBook.
Be a mentor with a servants heart Ben Drake
My story and what brought me here.
]]>
