Well for me personally I grew up as the eldest of 3 kids in a generational family. At times there 4 generations of the family living together; when I was born there was my great grandparents, grandparents, parents and myself living together. I do not remember such, and then years later it was my grandparents, parents a cousin and her son as well as my siblings and I.
Now I struggled with one emotion as it was not expressed in my biological family it was only at the recent passing of my grandmother that I realised hey that’s where this came from. My parents are unable to say they love you; you often get it through stuff. They buy you everything and anything all the latest things, to me I needed love not stuff. You ask where something is and if it cannot be found quickly, a new one is brought.
I finally realised, I had been searching for love and nurturing since I was a teenager as I had hardly any growing up. I needed someone who was willing to be there for me yet I did not get such years later. It took years for me to realise why I had struggled for years or what need I was expressing that I was not able to put into words and people were no hearing what I was saying. That was part of the issue.
I received a lot of bullying in high school and in my early work career, in my early 20’s when I was working for a major cooperation some of my colleagues who only made my self-esteem worse. I have worked for many years getting myself better and now have to understand that my family is incapable of providing the love I need them to. They are not a failure they are just unable to do such, they have their own issues and they refuse to deal with those issues.
I have found some of the best friends I could ask for during these last few months, these days my life; is a lot better than what it ever was and I am so glad. I do what I love on a regular basis and I am working on creating the life I want with a wonderful bunch of great friends who mean the world to me as a person. For me I am living a life I love, although there are many things I want to still do with my life I want to experience it with someone who means a lot to me; and well I am ready to walk that road. There are a lot of things I look forwards to, I am glad for those friends I have made some of them have become the best friends I could ever ask for. If I had not started this journey of relationships I would not of found these most amazing wonderful friends each who has an important part to play in my own life.
There are many people who I could thank publically yet each of them know who they are, they have often been there guiding or helping me in some way during these last few months. Thank you all for being the wonderful people you are.
For now, I know that I am on course and things are great.
If you want to learn more about relationships http://bdrake.successin10steps.com/?mad=52669 some of the information is available from this eBook.
Be a mentor with a servants heart Ben Drake
