Blog • Coach Freedom and Friends

Life its interesting some people succeed and others will fail. Why because the ones who fail simply give up before it's their time. Someone else tempts them with a better offer or says oh you are not making any money come and join me and I will help you. I did that once and ages later it feel in my face because of how the person treated others, yet the good part was that there was lessons learnt from such. Sometimes you need to analyse and reset your goals. At other times are you going for the right goal is what you need to ask yourself. Recently during a period of much stress I asked myself a question one which I believe everyone needs to ask themselves. Here is that question....

What would you do... if you were told you only had 24 hours to live?

To me the answer came back quick as anything and I have to keep that answer between myself and those who know that answer, sometimes you may not get a answer that is ok, it may confuse you or it may not be what you thought it would be. To me I received no surprise with my answer; my answer tells me why I continue going and where I am heading. How well it says this is your purpose and I would of never found such without doing a mental cleanse, yet also without the support of some really great friends. Sure it's rough at times, yet there are things I have to do. We each determine our own success or failure by own our actions or words.

When we try and push, bully or bribe someone to do something for us then we are not confident that they are going to say yes. It means that the person is trying to strengthen their own position so that they have a better chance of getting a favourable outcome. I been thinking about my past close relationships today and what happened, some of it was my own fault. Others well it was a combination of things, however these days I enjoy each day more and more. Right now I need to sort out my stuff and go from there, say goodbye to those who make me feel worse, work out what I am taking with me, find a place and just go. There are things that need to be taken no matter what, clothes mostly yet other things are unable to be replaced some things can be.

If you want to learn more about relationships http://bdrake.successin10steps.com/?mad=52669 some of the information is available from this eBook.

Be a mentor with a servants heart Ben Drake

Stress

19/10/2010

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| Mentor Ben Drake

| 11:48 am

Stress it is one of those things that sometimes you do not know if it's built up until you end up falling down. It's a hard thing to manage when you do not know if you are stressed or not for me it's like saying well you have not been taking care of yourself or have been too strong for too long. You are doing too much is another thing it says, so what is best. Working out what causes you the stress and how you react, in a way I need to do such myself just take the time to realise ok I have to rest and take care of myself.

Boundaries

18/10/2010

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| Mentor Ben Drake

| 10:12 am

One thing I have been coming to terms with is the good and bad friendships, those that are positive and negative. Also working on understanding others personalities, right now its part of the journey. I guess knowing that I need to deal with a variety of people, some of those people are going to be destructive or toxic and others are going to be supportive and encouraging. For me I have to work on a number of areas. I know some people are not going to appreciate or enjoy such; however they need to understand I am doing this for my own wellbeing not for their own individual happiness. So it's time to establish some firm boundaries, that means saying well this is what I am prepared to accept and not prepared to accept.

I know people will push them, some people will receive less boundaries whist others will receive more a lot more. It's about me saying this is what is acceptable and not acceptable, there are people who I will not have to set these limits with and people who will need them enforced to the letter. They will not be happy however I need to do such for my own individual health. That means that my own personal time and business time must be adhered to by the family no matter what. Emergencies only, it's time to say I am not going to do this for you anymore.

Learning about my family

15/10/2010

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| Mentor Ben Drake

| 12:46 pm

Ok I have been learning so much about myself and my family these last few weeks. Now I understand where all the love came from as a child. There is nothing I can do to go back to that point in time however I was raised how I was raised. Nothing can change such, for me I can only live my life as I know one person would have wanted me to of lived. I grew up with parents who were unable to show their love for others it was what happened. They just could not do it; one was literally incapable of doing such. The other well they would buy you anything you wanted all the latest gadgets, the car whatever. It was who they were. That was part of my family yet I also lived with my grandparents who were the opposite and well great people.

I grew up in a generational family which was interesting as when I was born my great grandparents even lived with us. Now that is part of life, I do not remember those years I was only a baby. Yet I can remember the later years living with my grandparents my grandmother who would do anything for anyone she would sit there listening and was just so loving. It explains the reason why I was reasonable during the years living with my grandparents a loving woman who lived a good life. She was someone you could talk to, there was also my grandfather he was a loving person alone. Having grown up with love having come from my grandmother and as soon as she started becoming worse the love started to fade.

Recently my grandmother passed away after a number of years in the nursing home yet she was not the same person she once was. Yet I when listening at her funeral to my uncle speak of her and how she was it finally made sense of what type of person she was. For me I have been on the adventure and I enjoy such, if you want to learn more about relationships http://bdrake.successin10steps.com/?mad=52669 some of the information is available from this eBook.

Insights

14/10/2010

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| Mentor Ben Drake

| 1:46 pm

I sat at my volunteer role this morning on what is referred to as the dog watch, why? as it can be either dead or where the problems happen. That is what the watch is like its typically dead anyway I took along some interesting reading material which was nice. From that material I learnt more about myself and my family as to what happened and even why, how come it's been such a struggle for me living with my biological family, living with 3 people who are controlling and another who is unable to show love for another person although it may be there. Myself I am someone who needs to be constantly appreciated and loved, told daily, told regularly that someone cares. That's who I am.

I have grown up in a family where it's stuff, just more and more stuff. My biological family has the latest things, the computers which are up to date. The HDMI TV's, the latest this or that, they buy everything they want. This is someone who has to have everything their way. Whist reading the information today it told me so much more about my family then I had ever been able to learn in my entire life. Yet it explains so many things to me as a person who I am and why, also how come I have been struggling with my life as dealing with my family. Even those false friends, ah those false friends the ones who I used to hang out with in my early 20's who did more damage than anything else. I only stay in touch with one of them from that period.

I started to understand why my biological family fell apart and now understand why my yearning is for distance with them. It has to do with a number of things, in a way I will achieve such. I have just been enjoying this adventure lately it's been so great. No matter what I know that I am in the relationships business and to me it's time to build those great relationships. I have only scratched the surface and found 3 of the truest friends ever.

If you want to learn more about yourself as a person and how you can create better relationships take a look at success in 10 steps available here http://bdrake.successin10steps.com/?mad=52669 it's a very powerful book and has loads of information as to people and how they work together. It's based not just at the network marketing industry; it's about every day success also.

Be a mentor with a servants heart Ben Drake